Wen't to the farmers market.

My wife bought some duck eggs at the farmers market the other day. I told make sure you don't drop them or they might quack open.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cajunjon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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What happens wen you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 73
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mc_douchebag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2013
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Watching Lord of the Rings with my girlfriend

When I ask her: "Are you Team Arwen or Team Eowyn?"

"Team Arwen, you?"

"Not sure, but either way, it's a wyn-wen situation for Aragorn."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 64
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bonerdonutbonut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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Dad: Are those Wednesday legs?

Skinny Kid: Wednesday legs?

Dad: Wens-day-gna break?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/doogsie125
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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Got dadjoked by a customer over paypal

"You have received a payment of $80 from John Doe"

"Note from John Doe: a note (optional)"

I didn't get it so I went to look at what sending money looks like. Wen you send money, the box you write a note in says "add a note (optional)". He added "a note (optional). He must be a dad at heart, because even I didn't get it at first.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 50
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/UncleJehmimah
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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