A 28-year-old woman presented with a mass in the abdomen. The mass was in fact a wandering spleen that migrated from its normal location! journal.medizzy.com/wande…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mriTecha
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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S2 E18 where Karl’s wandering eye forgets about Susan’s wandering spleen...

Ugh I hate Susan. The more I read fan posts and theories, the more I dislike Teri Hatcher too and how she felt she was better than the other housewives.

But come on.

2 episodes ago, in a wheelchair, bumps down the steps with no flinch of pain...falls out of the wheelchair due to Dr Ron, climbs back into it easy peasy and the following episode is using a walking stick.

WHYYY.

To then get thrown around on Edie’s bed and chucked off the bed by Karl and again, no pain.

I am a healthcare professional so I know I should gloss over it, but it drives me crazy. It’s things like this that make patients not think of the practical things after surgery... like how would you get up the stairs in a wheelchair which is never mentioned. Also: why would you need a wheelchair after spleen surgery which would cause you more pain being in a seated position and more pain using a walking stick when she didn’t have any pre-existing mobility issues

Rant over!! Grr Susan wouldn’t surprise me if she rented a wheelchair for the sympathy card! I do wish I had her genetics though

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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36-year-old woman presented to the emergency with a 1-day history of abdominal pain and vomiting, diagnosed with wandering spleen. journal.medizzy.com/wande…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mriTecha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Wandering Spleen/Splenic Torsion imgur.com/US4bZWB
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trigeminy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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Binge-watched GrayStillPlays’s Sims 4 videos and finally decided to look for Spleens in the gallery. Found her and added her (and Tonsils) into my family. She went out to wander and of course, came back pregnant. Everyone say hello to the fine specimen that is Burger Legday...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/floetic__
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Because it’s my cake day I’m just going to post the entire shrek script lol

Shrek: "Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss." [Laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen. [Paper Rustling, Toilet Flushes] Shrek: What a load of-- [Toilet Door slams] Shrek hops out his outhouse and his routine like taking a mud shower and farting in his pool. [β™ͺ All-Star By Smash Mouth Playing] Steve Harwell: β™ͺ Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead. The years start comin', and they don't stop comin', fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin', didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with takin' the backstreets. You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star. Get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder, you're bundled up now, but wait till you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin, the water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Hey, now, you're an all-star. β™ͺ [Shouting] Steve Harwell: β™ͺ Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star. Get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. β™ͺ [Belches] Villagers: Go! Go! [Record Scrating] Steve Harwell: β™ͺ Go. Go. Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. β™ͺ Villagers: Think it's in there? All right! Let's get it! Villager 1: Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing could do to you? Villager 2: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread. Shrek: [Laughs] Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Veggie_might_guy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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Wife: I'm pregnant.

Me: Hi pregnant, I'm Dad!

Wife: No you're not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2021
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DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Von_Bostaph
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...

..... Will get a reward.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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I'd ruther not say
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Sexy Space Babes: Chapter Fourteen

β€œEmpress above, is that an exo-suit?”

Jason glanced over to where Raisha was pointing. Sure enough, there stood one of the imposing black pseudo-mech suits. The nine-foot hunchbacked machine stood out amongst the hubbub of the defender’s β€˜staging’ area, the nearby Shil’vati giving the exo-suit a wide berth.

He leaned on a nearby crate, he and the rest of the cadre having little better to do than hurry up and wait before they were deployed.

β€œI’m surprised the militia has any,” he said. β€œFrom what I’ve read, they’re supposed to be pretty expensive.”

Not so much the suit itself, as the miniature anti-gravity drive on the thing’s back. The thing that allowed it – with the aid of its powerful legs and a number of micro-thrusters – to dart around the battlefield like a grasshopper on steroids. The mechs couldn’t fly, but they could jump well enough to do a decent Spiderman impression. At least in an environment with sufficient verticality, like a jungle or a city. A fact that had caught a number of human commanders off guard during the invasion if the grousing from veterans online was anything to go off.

He didn’t blame them. The idea was all sorts of insane from an engineering perspective. The suit itself was probably simple enough – for a given value of simple – but Jason had less than no idea as to how the anti-gravity drive functioned. Which was really the only thing that let the insane tactic work at all.

β€œProbably military surplus,” Raisha reasoned, eyes remaining glued to the machine. β€œThe Turox line used to be pretty standard until Helstrom won the contract.” She paused, looking at the runic emblem on the machine’s chest. β€œOr it’s a family machine.”

β€œFamily machine?” Jason echoed, hating just how many aspects of Shil’vati society he was ignorant of. Some days he felt like a broken record given the number of times he needed to ask for clarification on something someone had mentioned offhandedly.

Raisha glanced at him. β€œYou know, family machine? Veteran retires and buys their suit off the military at a discount.”

So, it was sort of like a veteran taking their service rifle home with them, he mused.

β€œA whole mech though?” he asked.

Raisha nodded. β€œIt’s not cheap, sure, even for an exo-pilot, who are usually pretty flush. Pays for itself in the end though. If a kid signs up with their own mech, the military provides them with a pretty handy subsidy.”

That sounded like more Shil’vati classism to Jason, old school

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueFishcake
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Why are elevator jokes so good

Because they work on many levels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Fox1984
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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Rational
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mainhoonmadrasi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zayan-ali
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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I promise, I’m not here to steal your prices!

Not exactly an IDWH, so much as a I Don’t Work There...

First time posting anything like this, but I’ll try to be as precise as possible. For this story, we’ll need to take a trip in the Wayback Machine, back to the far-flung realm of 1994. The internet was still a strange and unusual thing, the Super Nintendo and Genesis were on the waning edge of the console cycles, and I (as a 15yo) was into it. The high school version of water cooler talk was what games were we playing, did we know this, have we tried that, etc.

Coming into the holiday season, I was feeling my inner math geek come to the forefront, as the parents had long since told me about Santa, and instead I was given the directive: β€œYou have this much money for this year’s presents. Make it last.” Yes, ma’am! As I had not been introduced to any sort of spreadsheet aside from margarine, I had to cobble together two sheets of notebook paper, draw out columns and rows, and list out all the games I was interested in for the rows, and the stores I was going to check out for the columns. A handcrafted work, but for my eyes at the time I was pretty proud of it.

Cue me tagging along with mom whenever she went shopping, where I’d split off to do my thing, and she’d take care of hers. All very neat and tidy for some of the more niche and/or departed stores of yesteryear - looking at you, Larger-than-village of the Circuits. All was going well, until one fateful day, when my parents and I were visiting the Mart of Sprawls, and the following situation occurred. Conversations are paraphrased, given the timeframe involved. I will be Me, Salesdroid will be SD, and Dad will be Dad.

After entering the store, the parents went off to the fabric area to indulge Mom’s sewing hobby, while I wandered over to shelf after shelf of electronics goodness. Pulling out my handy chart, I sent to work poring over my options, weighing one game here versus two there. A grand metagame, if you will, to wring every last penny out of my purchases. Only to be stopped dead in my tracks by the bane of shoppers: an empty rack. Hrmm. I wander over to SD, who was manning the register but not busy at the time.

Me: β€œExcuse me, do you have suchandsuch?”

SD: β€œLet’s check.”

We both go back, verify the shelf is empty, nothing in the overflow area beneath the shelves, etc. Drat. I pen down a quick N/A in the appropriate box, and go back to my task. After a few moments, I become aware that SD has not gone back to the register, but is stan

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VemikaFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Argon enters a bar, the bartender says β€œWe don’t serve noble gases here.”

Argon does not react.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dick_Squeakly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
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If Apple made a car what would it be missing?

Windows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moplex1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzagri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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He needs grounded
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AthanasiaStygian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
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"ground" the kid
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freakynit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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Well there goes his reproductive fitness...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/annnnnnnnie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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Proud dad moment.

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaBarbaGuapa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mediashiznaks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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Gottemm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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so many choices
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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Well that didn't cross my mind
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonPetreasCoach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
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He knows too much
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato_salad123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." Concerned, she asked, "Which doctor?"

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Charjar Binks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCloud-YT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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3.14159265387279 snek
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2021
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I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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Rock bottom
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theo19555
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/motherduck5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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Well Rounded Pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpivLife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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I never really understood why it was spelled: camouflage

and not:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rumblebully
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Shrek Script

Shrek: "Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss." [Laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen.[Paper Rustling, Toilet Flushes]Shrek: What a load of--[Toilet Door slams]Shrek hops out his outhouse and his routine like taking a mud shower and farting in his pool.[β™ͺ All-Star By Smash Mouth Playing]Steve Harwell: β™ͺ Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead. The years start comin', and they don't stop comin', fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin', didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with takin' the backstreets. You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star. Get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder, you're bundled up now, but wait till you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin, the water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Hey, now, you're an all-star. β™ͺ[Shouting]Steve Harwell: β™ͺ Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star. Get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. β™ͺ[Belches]Villagers: Go! Go![Record Scrating]Steve Harwell: β™ͺ Go. Go. Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. β™ͺVillagers: Think it's in there? All right! Let's get it!Villager 1: Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing could do to you?Villager 2: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.Shrek: [Laughs] Yes,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_idkhahaha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
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What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tieyz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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What pan is the best to make sushi in?

Japan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Most-Stomach4240
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigus-_-dickus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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