I was walking with about 100 cows from one ranch to another and I had to pass through a vineyard so

I herded through the grapevine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Every day I have to take my cow through a vineyard…

I herd it through the grapevine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I took a cutting home from the vineyard as a souvenir.

They told me it was destined for grapeness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0ntrol_Group
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Vineyards don't usually do so well during a drought...

...so they tend to focus on raisin awareness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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Didja hear about the brewer who put off his deliveries to go to a vineyard?

He was sittin' on the bock of the day, tastin' wine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacefiddle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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My friend Amy opened up a vineyard.

She calls it Amy's Winehouse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
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I volunteer at a winery and vineyard on Wednesdays...

We're eating lunch outside yesterday after working in the vineyard all morning. The neighbor walks over to say hi.

Neighbor: "How's the vineyard going?"

Me: "Grape!"

Neighbor: "Oh..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steve_z
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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Father-in-law's response to invitation to cheese tasting at a vineyard next week

I'm off, "wine" not!

Edit: This was via email. Yeah, he included the quotes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lavishly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
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Fancy French dad joke

I just took my family to the Loire Valley for vacation (I live in Luxembourg, so it was just a road trip). My wife was interested in visiting a vineyard and trying out some local wine.

We asked at our hotel for recommendations. My wife looked over the brochures and complained that they were all in the neighboring town of Chinon.

She wondered if the hotel was getting kickbacks or something.

Me: "I call Chinon-agins!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeifSized
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2017
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Customer got me today.

I work part time managing a vineyard's tasting room. We serve a cheese plate and we tell people what kind of cheeses are on it. So I serve one and I get to the last cheese.

"This is a Vermont cave aged Gouda."

His response was, "I guess I'll find out how Gouda it is."

I think I'll steal it for the next time I serve one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheese464
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
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Pitting Brad against Angelina

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie own a vineyard called Mirival that makes a really good rosΓ©.

Wife: do you think they'll stop making Mirival?

Me: Even if they don't, we better stock up on it now. That wine is about to be terrible.

Wife: ...why?

Me: Because of sour grapes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mtttm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2016
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