Winery Puns

It's being called the great Merlot furlough.

At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.

We're eating lunch outside yesterday after working in the vineyard all morning. The neighbor walks over to say hi.

Neighbor: "How's the vineyard going?"

Me: "Grape!"

Neighbor: "Oh..."

My wife and I are at the winery with my parents and the guy pouring samples is just flirting with all of the women, including my mom and wife, and telling dirty jokes, which is no big deal, but I don't really appreciate him calling wine "panty dropper" when he pours it for my mom. That kind of weird stuff, y'know?

Then he tells a story that he has an identical twin brother, and when they were infants, people would always ask his mother how she tells the two of them apart.

"I can tell them apart by their balls,"

And we're all like, "Jesus, enough with the gross out humor already," but he finishes the joke; "One of the babies bawls all day, the other bawls all night,"

A winery.

My girlfriend's dad (Rocky) makes his own wine and I want to make him a bunch of punny labels for the bottles as a Christmas present. Current leading contenders are:

• Rocky and Bull-wine-kle's Alcoholic Grape Juice
• Rocky Start Wineries
• Rock Hard Wine

Any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Sorry for all the wine-ing...

While driving past a winery in California my mom says, "I wonder how the droughts will affect the grapes"

"I imagine the wine will be a bit drier"