moo-vie?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sailor-x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Wife: β€œC’est la vie...”

Husband: β€œLa vie”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rosedj1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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c'est la vie

So me and my dad were talking about some stuff and I said "c'est la vie" and he replied with "La vie".

We both cracked laughing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchDrummer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2016
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My friend comiserating their depressing life: "C'est la vie"

my response: "la vie"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigassbigtitties
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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What is a cow's favorite place to go to?

The MOO-vie theater...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brady01234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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My collection of irreplaceable French movies was stolen.

C'est la D vie D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgraff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Just got out dadjoked by my 5yo.

The conversation went like this.

Dad: C'est la vie.

Kid: La vie.

Dad: No, "C'est la vie."

Kid: I did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drygon_Stevens
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What’s a cow favorite thing to watch?

A moo-vie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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What do you call a film with cows as actors?

A Moooo-vie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungry-fangirl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What does a cow do for fun?

It goes to the mooo-vies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because it wanted to go to the mooo-vies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nasytasy
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Where do cows go to see films?

The Moo-vies.

(As told by my roommate)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/radioactiveryley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Classic dad in france joke

We're on vacation in paris, eating at a restaurant.

Dad: Are we up for another bottle de vin? (terrible french accent)

Mom: Hey, C'est la vie.

Dad: La vie, but what about the wine?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bklynbraver
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
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Went to see my French friend, but when I got there he said there were no bedrooms left and I had to sleep in the basement.

Oh well, c'ellar vie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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