Venus Puns

But they didn’t planet.

It’s just a mythunderstanding.

Mars is left feeling cold.

I don't work well under pressure nor do I like toxic work environment.

A Farewell to Arms

Greece Lightning

Her: It’s Venus.

Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?

"Hey Venus, you see that planet over there?" - Earth "Yeah, what about it?" - Venus "Do you think he likes to watch the sun rise and set like us? He's so far away..." - Earth "Well Maybe he needs to Neptune in with the rest of us." - Venus "Did you just make a planet pun...?" - Earth "Don't Saturn this around on me, I'm hot and flustered all the time" - Venus "I guess you could say your Mercury's rising...snickers" - Jupiter

"GOD DAMNIT" - Earth

The earth is doomed, women should go back to Venus, men to Mars, and us gays will go deep into Uranus

Venus, because it's the morning star.

Kid: "How many suns does Mercury have?"
Me: "One"
Kid: "How many suns does Venus have?"
Me: "One"
Kid: "How many sons does Earth have?"
Me: "One"
Kid: "Wrong, there's millions and millions of sons. I'm a son, you're a son, all boys on earth are sons."

... she asked me, "are any hot?"

I said, "Yes, Mercury and Venus are hot because they are so close to the sun."

She asked, "Are any cold?"

"Yes, the ones outside our orbit are cold. Mars, Jupiter and so on."

"What color are they?", she asked...

"Well, the Earth is blue and green, Mars is red because of iron, Jupiter has a cool red spot..."

"What color is Uranus?"

.... .... ....

"It's brown, and very windy."

12 year old son: "Did you know Venus is the hottest planet in the solar system?"

Me: "Did you know Venus is the only planet whose name rhymes with 'penis'?"

The best part was my wife and kids trying to stifle their embarrassed laughter around the museum visitors. :)

A friend an I were driving home when I noticed two bright stars in the sky I knew to be planets.

Me: "Do you know what planets those are?"

Him: "I don't know... Mars and Venus?".

Me: "I'm pretty sure they're Venus and Jupiter"

Him: "Yeah, I had no idea. I just pulled two planet names out of my..."

Me: "Uranus?"

I was in Paris and uploaded a photo I took of the Venus de Milo.

Dad: This guy looks pretty 'armless Me: oh dear Mum: besides which, I think it's a girl Me: the boobs give it away Mum: ya reckon?

Shut down, dad.

But they didn't planet

...But they didn't planet that way.

but they didn't planet that way

Her: It’s Venus.

Me: I’m sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?

Serena Williams: It’s Venus.

Interviewer: I’m sorry Venus, could you put Serena on the phone?