Her name was Himcules
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he has to touch it to be sure.
To get a koalafication
He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
Unfortunately, I had to drop out. I just didn't have the patients.
I guess I should really get around to starting it.
I can't imagine the Pierre pressure it would cause...
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
I Am Grout
but if you remove it, you get gravy.
Because it was all parallel parking!
...always came from Earth ?
"Is it because I'm so beautiful?" she asked
"NO, It's because you're constantly expanding."
“Bison”
Man, De Lorain
Do they become Smarties.
He was killed by a careless Wispa
It changed everything
And man, it changes everything.
Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.
She’s my univ-ursula 🪐✨
I'm really a meat and potatoes kind of guy.
I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.
this changes everything
It's not easy getting 360 degrees!
Sioux later
Because it's inhothpitable.
Yes, they Dis-Banded.
No. It was a snap.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
because it didnt hold water
He asked me if it takes place in the Marble Cinematic Universe
in other words, I graduated MAGA cum laude
...no matter
...cause it only has a three star rating!
I guess they think it’s pulp fiction.
All bums will be able to get colonoscopies.
You still have Gravy
Gravy.
...I thought to myself "This changes everything."
I thought to myself "Well, this changes everything"
