I don’t like to make sweeping generalizations
They’re almost never true.
I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations...
...but all brooms are pretty much the same.
To refer to all women as bitches isn't just a blanket statement, it's a broad generalization
What does a dyslexic war general use for his bad breath?
Sturgeon General’s Warning
“Please don’t eat caviar—it’s our children!”
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
do you know why Obi-wan Kenobi is called general kenobi and not specific kenobi?
because the sith only deal in absolutes
Where does a General keep his Armies?
My wife asked me to pick up a single lemon at the grocery store
But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
Puns about the body are generally corny,
But puns about the eye are cornea.
I just got promoted to general manager at the aquarium!
I'm going to have a corner offish and everything!
General Kitchy-Kitchy just led a military coup!
A conversation with my 11 year old this morning...
Son: Dad, there's a hole in your t-shirt.
Me: I know, it's my religious t-shirt.
Son: gives me a blank look
Me: It's holy!
Today I tried to get a job at a general labor temp agency but was told I didn't qualify.
I am only cleared for leiutenant labor.
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. “Hey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”
Because the chicken had the day off.
Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.
Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)
I like parks in general...
...but zoo are a sick park!
It's weird how nobody knew who the Iranian general Soleimani was a few days ago...
It's like he blew up overnight.
Did you hear about the army general who retreated from an army wearing sandals?
I work in a manufacturing mill. It's crazy how many General contractors you see
When I've never seen a single lieutenant or corporal contractor
What did the general say to their troops?
How did the Samurai defeat the enemy General?
Went to the gym and saw some guy working out dressed as General Grievous
My wife claims that vacuum cleaners are always better for cleaning than a brush.
I said, “That’s a sweeping generalization.”
Why did the military general refuse to use social media?
It was his personal creed to never surrender or retweet.
Those Duke boys sure do like to jump their car over things...
... General Lee speaking.
I'm here to make a serious complaint about my local subway. Generally they do a good job, but I today I did an online order (so I didnt SEE them make anything). I didnt unwrap it in the store to check (because who does that), but when I got home it was absolutely not what I ordered.
What did the General who lost both his arms, use to fight his wars?
Some Christmas Dad Jokes
Why are Santas reindeer generally drenched with water?
Because they are rain-deer.
Why did Santa have to visit the psychologist?
He had low elf esteem.
source
Why are Christmas trees so uncoordinated when it comes to sewing?
They always drop their needles.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a hungry mosquito?
Frostbite
What did Adam say to Eve on the night before Christmas day?
It's Christmas Eve!
Robert E. Lee once said: "I like whiskey. I always did. And that is why I never drink it."
But that's just generally speaking.
What did the general have up his sleeves
Where does the General keep his armies?
Where does the general keep his armies?
Where did the General put this Armies?
Where do Generals keep their armies?
Where does a General put his armies?
Where does the General keep his Armies?
Where does a general keep his armies?
Where does the general keep his armies?
Where does the General keep his armies?
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