A customer ordered a foot long cold cut trio and I completely zoned out and accidentally made him a 6" meatball.

Whoops, wrong sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamundan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Why didn't the pro shop manager require another golfer to the trio looking for a tee time?

He didn't want to foursome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nutbagger18
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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A trio of jokes I'm hitting my students with today. Yesterday I was told my jokes were "so bad that I shouldn't ever tell a joke again." =D

Q: What is the average math teacher?
A: mean

Q: What dessert do math teachers eat the most?
A: pie a la mode

Q: Where does the average cop hide when catching people for speeding?
A: The highway median

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindsight
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
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What do you call a Black/Asian Jazz trio?

Funk Shui

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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3 Performers called the Weissman Trio walk into a Bar

Two of them introduce themselves as Gold and Frankinsence. The bartender asks, "Why are you called the Weissman Trio if there are only 2 of you?" The brothers look at each other and say to the bartender in unison, "But wait! There's Myrrh!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nightskydoxus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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[Request] something based off of a famous trio but also involves 'A**' or 'butt'

Because I'm uncreative but really need a good pun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koore9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2016
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A trio of well-dressed clergymen just waked into a restaurant.

They were wearing their three-priest-suits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harrywhoover
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2016
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At the beach with wife, friends and three kids. My wife exclaims: "Aren't our kids an odd trio?"

"Aren't they always?"

Wife groaned. Wife's friend had the delayed giggles. Good times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSnowden
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2016
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A trio of Dad Jokes at a family meal last night.

Dad Joke 1:

Dad: What you got there Nigel?

Nigel: I have got the pulled pork.

Dad: How hard did they have to pull it?

Dad Joke 2:

Dad: What about you Craig? What have you got?

Craig: Well, I got the baked salmon mate.

Dad: I wonder where it got its supply from?

Dad Joke 3:

Aunt: Have you seen Marie lately? She's lost a stone!

Dad: Well that's a bit irresponsible, she should go looking for it!

I think my dad tries to hard sometimes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrowlsMcChips
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
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A Cleverly Named Trio

I saw a music recital at school and a trombone trio came up. There were two members named Sam and in the middle of the trio was a man named Miles. Miles said the group's name was "A Miles Samwich."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/italian6th
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best...

The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey stood nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. None in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all... hawk, lion and stinker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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What do you call 3 trees?

A treesome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danny_Babanny305
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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What do you call a group of three trees?

A trio.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haas-ta
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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Old joke, my daughter loved it.

A trio of explorers were hiking through the Congo and found a small village that was very isolated and not on any map. The villagers turned out to speak English very well, and informed the adventurers very politely that theirs was a village of cannibals and they were to be cooked and eaten, and their hides tanned and turned into canoes for the villagers, but they would allow them to take their own life however they saw fit.

The first man asks for a sharp knife, slices his wrists open, and mutters "Lay me down and bleed a while, and ne'er up again."

The second man asks for his revolver, says "For God and Country!" and shoots himself in the head.

The last man asks for a fork, and stabs himself repeatedly screaming "Fuck your canoe!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimvoluntaryist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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Jack and the Beanstalk meets Little Red Riding Hood

This is the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, after the story ends. After chopping down the beanstalk, Jack realizes that he’s actually pretty damn good with an axe, and casual vegetative vandalism really struck his fancy, so he began chopping down other trees for a living. He became a traveling woodsman, and he enjoyed many years of his simple life of manual labor.

One day, as he chops wood, he hears screams from a nearby cottage. Hurriedly breaking in (because recall: jack has no problem with entering houses uninvited), he sees a cross dressing lycanthrope attempting to devour a little girl dressed all in red and her little grandmother too. Wielding his trusty axe, Jack murdered yet another fantasy creature, and safely led Little Red all the way back home. Answering the door was a beautiful woman of around his age. After sending Little Red to bed, the two of them talked for hours.

One thing led to another, and a year later they were married with a child on the way. They had a beautiful little boy named Jack Junior who followed in his father’s steps to become a woodsman. This was fortunate, because as Junior grew up, Jack was feeling the pain of his previous adventures. An old back injury from jumping from the beanstalk was haunting him, and over time his posture grew more and more hunched. He had a tough time working, but at least Junior was becoming a strapping young man.

One day, Jack and Junior took the long road to the grandmothers place to bring her a meal, just like that fateful trio Red took so many years ago. When they arrived, the grandmother greeted them cheerily, welcoming them in and making conversation. β€œOh Junior,” she said, β€œyou’ve grown into such a handsome and strong young man. It’s so kind of you to handle all the work so your poor father, with his bad back and all, doesn’t have to. Why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?” Junior hesitated. β€œWell Grandma,” he replied. β€œIt’s because... I’m gay”. The close-minded, set-in-her-ways grandma’s expression became stormy. She pulled poor hunched-over Jack into adjacent room, and whispered angrily: β€œJack, your life is a mess! Your posture is terrible and your son isn’t giving me any grandsons!” Jack replied: β€œMa, we’re happy, you can’t just-β€œ But she interrupted. β€œNo excuses!” She snapped. β€œYou need to straighten your lumbar, Jack!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coyoteTale
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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What are you listening to?

"Hey hotdiggitydon, what are you listening to?" "Alkaline trio" "Alkaline trio huh....hey! What's the difference between them and acidic trio?" "What?" "The PH!!"

I couldn't help but laugh at this one. I was actually impressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HotDiggityDon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
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