Today, whilst on holiday in Spain, I sent a photo to my dad captioned "loving life, drinking sangria by the pool".
The response: "might want to slow down and just drink it by the glass"
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
The village elders looked at him and asked, "Didn't you just start your own religion? Ask your followers instead!"
He said, "No problem, I'll be back tomorrow."
The next day he showed up and asked for some bread.
The village elders looked at him and asked, "Doesn't your religion disavow physical needs? Transcend your hunger instead."
He said, "No problem, I'll be back tomorrow."
The next day he showed up and asked for some meat.
The village elders looked at him and asked "Doesn't your religion espouse vegetarianism? You should be asking for bread and vegetables instead."
He said, "I already did, but no problem..."
Finally, the elders called the village guards to get rid of that Hungry Buddha Pest.
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
He was trying to transcend dental medication.
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The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
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I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
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A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
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I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
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The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
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In a democracy itβs your vote that counts. In feudalism itβs your count that votes.
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When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
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If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
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A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, Iβm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you canβt have your kayak and heat it too.
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Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, Iβve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, Iβm positive.
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Apparently he wanted to transcend dental medication.
he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Transcend dental medication.
Transcend dental medication
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
His goal: transcend dental medication
