My old high school teacher is from Utah. To this day, I apply the many lessons she gave. If I were to see her today, I would give a big hug tell her…
“Utah-t me a lot.”
Today (9/29) is National Coffee Day in the US. Give me your best coffee dad joke! (Thanks a latte)
I know you can brew up something funny!
Today is the worst day of my life. My wife got hit by a bus and....
I lost my job as a bus driver
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
So instead, a subreddit.
Did you know that today is the only day that tells you what to do?
March fourth!
(I told this to my coworkers and none of them appreciated my sense of humor)
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna grow it back to you,
Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States?
Black Friday
Today is the best day of the year!
It's a real 10/10
6 years ago today on my birthday. The Baltimore Ravens have won two Super Bowls, both on February 3rd. All a Baltimore boy would like for his cake day is some purple fever! I believe #20 intercepted Colin's ball hence "Ed Reads". I crack myself up.
Today is the worst day of the year
It's definitely 1/10
Every day at work I write something silly on the dry erase paint 'whiteboard' by my desk and this is today's contribution. [x-post from r/funny]
Today is the last day I work at subway ...
.. and it's a wrap !
(wow I made this one by myself and I'm not even a dad (I hope not at least))
today is the last day in the 21st century having consecutive prime numbers.
go on, you know you want to party like its 2099
So today is both Fathers Day and the first day of Spring... imgur.com/wSH5GUG
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
So instead, a subreddit.
Today is the only day of the year, where the day tells you what to do
March fourth
Today is the most commanding day of the year....
MARCH Fourth!
