Yesterday I purchased a world map and put it on the wall in the kitchen
I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."
Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
I took some money off the wall…
Now I hear my roommate saying, "Where's wall dough?"
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."
(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.
Dwayne Johnson is a really nice guy, so he always makes sure he's as close to the wall as possible...
He hates putting anyone between The Rock and a hard place.
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
What did the painting say to the wall?
We should have known this year was gonna suck. We were never gonna end the year as winners. The writing was on the wall. At the end of the year, we should have known we'd be facing the truth-
I saw a midget climbing down the prison wall the other day
It was a little condescending
I stood, rubbing a piece of plywood that was leaning against the wall, waiting for someone to notice.
“What are you doing, dad?”
I sigh a long, heavy sigh.
“Not much, just feeling board.”
why did the hunter shoot the map on the wall?
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.
The Warden said "he's a little condescending"
Just found this store by chance called Ollie’s. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here.
reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
What is a guy with no arms, no legs, to the wall?
I was putting the outlet cover back on the wall while my wife was working at the computer with her back to me...
She said “what are you doing? What is that noise?”
I said “I’ve been screwing around behind your back.”
She whipped around in shock and saw me, screwdriver in hand, screwing in the outlet cover.
I found it way more entertaining then she did.
Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.
This is because of a-coo-sticks.
I once went on a date that ended with me and the girl sleeping together. After sex she lit a cigarette and told me me all about her hobby: collecting roadkill and pinning it to her wall. Well, there's no way I could see her after that...
Smoking is such a turn off.
I have an Irish friend with a great personality that always bounces off the walls.
Why is it wrong to punch the wall when you’re frustrated?
The wall has never been anything but supportive.
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: “Isn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:
Found guilty on all charges, the train couldn't rationalize his off-the-wall behavior.
The other day I was driving by a prison and an unusually small person was scaling down the wall. I looked up at him confused as he sneered back at me.
And I thought to myself, well that’s a little condescending.
sorry it’s a repost of myself. My original post got removed for hate speech and harassment
just a nether brick in the wall
My neighbours, the Razzis, have more photographs hanging from their walls than anyone I’ve ever known.
Thanks to their dad, Papa Razzi.
The little fish bumped into a wall while swimming up stream
. . . and exclaimed, "Dam!"
now i understand why i hate The Wolf of Wall Street movie
Most people know that after swimming into a wall the fish said "Dam!" But what did the dam say?
You guys heard about one with the really high wall?
I would share, but you'd never get over it.
When you roll in from a night out but you're tyred so you just sit down in the garden slumped against the wall
What did the fish say when it hit a brick wall?
What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall?
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
What did the wall say to the painting?
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
I just saw a dwarf climbing down the wall of a prison.
I thought to myself... “that’s a little condescending”.
Did you here about the dwarf climbing over the wall to escape prison?
He fell!
It was a little condescending.
What did fish say when it hit the wall?
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
What did the fish say when it hit its head on the concrete wall?
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