Whilst I was making crumpets it told me to wake up, asked why I don't put on a little makeup, why did I leave the keys upon the table..
You’re gunna be toast!
I guess you can say I'm black toast intolerant
I was shocked when I learned the truth. I was revolted when my wife called me a liar and wanted proof.
He's such an Eggo-maniac
All the pop-up ads.
It was pretty toasty
Top Parts
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shudder (shutter).
Must have been a fault currant
Or you'll have a sandy Eggo in San Diego
When I dropped that toaster in the bath.
Looked at me and said "Pop!..." I assumed he was prompting me to sing, so I finished "goes the weasel!" Instead, he looked at me, smiled, and whispered. "No. Pop goes the waffle."
He got his bedtime toaster waffle snack that night.
My Pop Tarts got stuck in the toaster.
So I use the toaster now.
Him: "Hey, is there a special setting on the toaster for waffles?
Me: "Not really, use the 'Frozen' setting and just let it go."
Why couldn't the toaster go surfing?
Because there was only micro-waves
"Hey dad, I tried that Indian bread you bought."
"Oh yeah? How was it?"
"Good! I tried putting it in the toaster but the top stuck out and didn't get toasted. Really, though, it's a naan issue."
He told me we needed to clean out the toaster because "it was smoking."
I gasped - "It's not 18 yet!"
So my wife, 4 month old son, and I are walking through a mall. Knowing that I am a huge star wars fan, my wife points out a Darth Vader toaster in one of the stores and asks if I would like that for fathers day. I told her no, because it would cook my toast a little on the "dark side"...
I made dinner that was ready right as my wife got home from work. I was pulling the fish out of the oven and ask her if she is having rice on the side. She tells me "that's naan of your business" as I turn and see her putting a piece of naan in the toaster.
I'm getting the "Wreck" sandwich from Potbelly's. Extra delicious.
Sandwich maker: "Oops!" (Reaches over to the toaster to catch the melted cheese sliding off the sandwich.
Dad: "Great catch! Potential disaster there."
Sandwich maker: "Thanks. Could have been A Wreck."
Best. Sandwich maker. Ever.
My dad used to live in a trailer, so there was close proximity from the "kitchen" to the front door. I was sitting on the couch and reading something, when I ask my dad where something was, I don't remember what. Without hesitation, he replies, "Hold on, I have to prepare a toast.", and he takes the freshly burnt toast from the toaster, turns around, and throws it out the door. It was the greatest thing I'd ever witness him do, and he didn't even get why I was laughing.
I was waiting for my sandwich to heat up in the toaster oven and staring pretty intently at the melting cheese.
Suddenly a coworker walks by me and says "you know a watched sandwich never boils!"
He's not wrong...
"Let's crack open a bottle of champagne and have a toast! ...oh we don't have any? Pull out the toaster and we'll have a toast!"
Toasters
were the first form of pop-up notifications
Toasters
Are the first type of pop-up notifications
