If you sign up for an economics class, you should bring some spoiled milk on the first day.
They’re a big fan of gross domestic products.
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...
I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it.
Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle.
When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed.
Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.
I just never saw what the big dill was.
While paying for groceries at a local store ,they had reusable shopping bags with the breast cancer awareness ribbon on them with a handwritten sign that said $.99 for a better tomorrow.
I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"
It occurred to me today that I would have loved to see two of my favorite bands from the 90s, led respectively by David Usher and Gavin Rossdale, on the same ticket. The sign on the theatre would have been epic.
What did the sign say on the shut down brothel?
Guy gets pulled over for running a stop sign. He says to the cop “give me a break man, I slowed down.” The cop starts beating on the guy and says...
“So... do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?”
Historians have proved that people from every zodiac sign survived the Sinking of the Titanic
I was walking past a shop, and there was a classic bomb in the window Beside it was a sign that read "$1, irreplaceable fuse"
I said to myself "That's an offer I can't refuse"
The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said: dead batteries - $1 each.
I thought to myself “these should be free of charge”.
A Roman Soldier caught the Bartender's eye and gave him the two fingers sign..
" Five beers coming up " said the Bartender.
The sign said "No Trespassing"...
... So we went past it in pairs. That was only "dos-passing".
The other day, my hot friend told me he could sign a piece of paper with his hotness.
Me, being fed up with him always boasting, I asked," How could you even do that?"
With a smug smile plastered on his face, he replied," Thermal Signature."
What's the sign say outside the fishing hole in Chernobyl?
why did the short person ignore the you must be this tall to ride sign
I know people put mud on their faces for various benefits but I saw a sign the other day that said sewage treatment works
I was driving to a weekend hunting trip when I came to a fork in the road. Sign said bear left...
This is hands down the greatest sign I’ve ever seen.
Commissioner Gordon allowing his own daughter to become a vigilante is the clearest sign of Gotham's descent
The sign said “no food allowed”
No problem, I thought, I’ll just eat quietly
Yesterday I saw a radio on sale for a dollar. The sign said that the volume was stuck on full.
I thought, well, I can’t turn that down.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
The sign in the hospital parking garage said Patient Discharge.
That explained the stains next to it.
“From a neighbor who posts dad jokes on little signs in his front yard. Started during the isolation to cheer up the community”
“COVID19 DAY20
Ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I’ll let you know”
Custom made Exit signs are all the rage nowadays in my town.
But I think they are on the way out.
From the daily sign of the El Arroyo restaurant in Austin TX
What did the metaphysical highway sign say to warn drivers about wintry driving conditions?
This sign at the Urologist actually took some stress away for my Vascetomy consult after a heartly chuckle.
Found this glove zip tied to the stop sign across from my house.
The upvote sign is not pointless 😉
The guy who created the sign CAUTION HOT SURFACE in braille...
I saw a sign that said 'do not touch', however there was something weird about the sign....
I couldn't put my finger on it....
Walked by a house with a broken window and a sign in the window saying "don't rock the boat".
Looks like somebody rocked your house
Did you know that the Average African Leopard can jump higher than a stop sign?
This is because as far as I know stop signs can’t jump.
What does the sign say at the exit of the sperm bank?
What did the strip club sign say when they closed for Covid?
The sign in the bathroom said “employees must wash hands”.
I waited over two hours for an employee to come in to wash my hands before I washed them myself and went home.
Two friends are on a road trip and one if them sees a sign stating they are approaching Louisville. One says "we should stop in 'Louie-ville' for lunch. The other says it's not pronounced 'Louie-ville', it's 'Louis-ville'!
They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"
The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says
>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<
To all the protesters holding up the "I need a haircut" signs, we should all be yelling...
The sign in this restaurant says “Please wait for hostess to be seated.”
I’ve been here two hours and she is still on her feet.
US signs treaty with the Taliban
Did you hear about the new sign they put on the lawn of the rehab center?
It says “Keep off the grass”
Posted on a sign outside the gynecologist's office:
Dr. Jones - at your cervix
What did the sign say on the outside of a brothel when it was closed?
The guy who created the sign "Caution Do Not Touch" in braille,
What did the sign on the out of service brothel say?
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