Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?

Her stupidity knew no bonds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?

Ape-rons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quick-Bad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Did you hear about the gorilla patriarch that liked classical music?

He was a silverbach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...

He was also a great ape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carper5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?

A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatcornellbitch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?

Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DR_PORNBODY
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?

Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HowAboutShutUp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
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Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?

He forgot his monk-key

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πŸ‘€︎ u/espernen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2016
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A gorilla goes into a new bar...

He asks for a Pint of Beer.

The bartender says: 'That'll be $4.85'

Then the bartender says: 'We don't get many gorillas in here'

The gorilla replies: 'With these prices, I'm not surprised'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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A mouse walks up to a watering hole in the jungle and shouts, "Hippo! You get out of the water!"

The hippo gets out and the mouse says, "Fine, you can get back in!"

He shouts at the elephant, "Hey chubby! Get out the water!"

The elephant gets out and the mouse says, "Ok, you can get back in."

The mouse does this to a gorilla, giraffe and rhino as well.

Finally, the lion snaps and roars, "What's your problem mouse!?"

The mouse says, "I wanted to see which one of you stole my trunks!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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My dad can string this joke out forever. I've seen it go for 20 minutes.

A man gets a new job at the zoo.

On his first day, he still doesn't really understand what exactly he's meant to do, just that it involves the Gorillas. He goes and checks in and the manager sits him down to explain.

"Now look," says the manager, "We've been having some troubles lately with our gorilla. He was acting up, getting really agitated with the environment, so we had to send him away. We told the people that enclosure's being repaired, but we're actually looking for a new gorilla - can you do it for us?"

The man is unsure, but he needs the money, so he agrees, puts on a gorilla suit and goes out there. At first he's a bit mopey, so he sits around a lot.

After a couple of days he begins to warp up and eats a couple of bananas and wanders around a little.

Over the course of the next few weeks he becomes progressively more outgoing, moving around, playing in the jungle gym, hollering around and beating his chest. He's a big hit and everything's going really well for him, until one day he's on his monkey bars and getting really into it, but he slips and flies through the air, over the pit, clears the fence and lands in a pile of bushes in the next enclosure.

He is just beginning to pick himself up, when out of the corner of his eye, he sees something in the foliage.

A pair of eyes lock with his.

It moves closer.

He knows this is it.

He begins to pray.

Suddenly the creature leaps and tackles him - the biggest, ugliest lion he's ever seen!

It leans in close.

He can see every gleaming tooth in it's mouth

He can smell the lion's breath

It opens it's mouth

And from inside the lion he hears a whisper.

"Make this good or we'll both lose our jobs."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toggle2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2013
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At the Zoo with Dad

Me: Let's go see the gorillas.

Dad: That's what Che said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatrickKnight99
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Dad joke at the zoo.

I was at the zoo with my girlfriend and we went to the primates area last. When we got there, they had already put the gorillas up and there was a zookeeper in the open-air habitat cleaning it up. I turned to my girlfriend and said, "why is that gorilla wearing clothes?" My girlfriend groaned and the zookeeper shot me the dirtiest look I've ever received in my life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthyMcnasty87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes OST
  1. "Level Plaguing Field"
  2. "Look Who’s Stalking"
  3. "The Great Ape Processional"
  4. "Past Their Primates"
  5. "Close Encounters of the Furred Kind"
  6. "Monkey to the City"
  7. "The Lost City of Chimpanzee"
  8. "Along Simian Lines"
  9. "Caesar No Evil, Hear No Evil"
  10. "Monkey See, Monkey Coup"
  11. "Gorilla Warfare" 7:37
  12. "The Apes of Wrath"
  13. "Gibbon Take"
  14. "Aped Crusaders"
  15. "How Bonobo Can You Go"
  16. "Enough Monkeying Around"
  17. "Primates for Life"
  18. "Planet of the End Credits"
  19. "Ain’t That a Stinger"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walruspowers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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Gorilla Glued

Me: Should I use the Gorilla Glue?

Dad: Did you break your Gorilla?

Me:....

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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