Tailgate Puns

Me: Are you sure you want me to drop you off to tailgate in the rain like this?

Her: Yeah it's fine, we have a canopy.

Me: Ugh, that doesn't sound very good. A whole can?

Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.

and my friend is throwing a bag of ice in the ground. My other friend mom comes up and asks "what is he doing" and I told her he was breaking the ice and I said there was a much simpler way. Confused she said "how?"

I replied "Hi my names Ryan"

http://i.imgur.com//uwSE0DV.jpg

But it's not far behind.

Backstory: Many years ago I was living on my own about 45 minutes away from my parents. I had a stable job but didn't make much money and was broke most of the time. I had an old beat up car that was my only form of transportation. I would always have mechanical issues with the car and finally one morning it decided it wouldn't start no matter what.

I sheepishly had to call in to work and explain the situation and let them know that I would have to take a sick day but would figure some way to get to work the next day. I called my dad and he offered to come pick the car up on his trailer and take it back to his garage to work on it and get it in shape to trade it in.

He drives to my apartment, we get the car on the trailer and we are headed back to his house. The whole ride there I'm pretty pissed off and depressed about the whole situation. I'm worried about finding a new car and how I'm going to afford it and what I'm gonna do if I can't get it running again.

Dad senses my mood and pretty much keeps quiet the whole time. We get about three blocks away from his house and he utters this gem.

"Man, this car won't get off my ass. He's been tailgating me for 45 minutes now."

This was the perfect thing to snap me out of my funk and break the tension. I absolutely lost it. Only a Dad Joke could make me realize how trivial the whole thing was. I have told this joke to others who didn't really think it was that funny, but to me at the time it was the greatest thing ever.

Thanks Dad.

I was at a Yankees vs Royals baseball game. I text my dad to tell him, "They have a promo for tailgating on the jumbotron. They had your blender!" He replies back, "One like mine. I just looked, mine is in the garage."

This 100+ person volleyball chat I am in was blowing up about this tent sale (things you bring to tailgates/sporting events).

"This sale really sounds intents"

People told me I'm lame and a terrible human being.

But it's close behind.