They lactose.
Edit test.
βFor the last time, itβs Christmas, Eve.β
Edit: Thanks for so much love. Merry Xmas!
My wife yelled at him to close it immediately, as it wasnβt safe in a moving vehicle. I told her it wasnβt a big deal since both of our vehicles have umbrella insurance.
The kids didnβt get it but it elicited a nice groan from the wife, so Iβm pretty sure it counts.
Me eating Girl Scout Cookies:
"You guys can call me Te KΔ. Cuz I destroyed these Samoas."
Wife: "Go away... "
Te Ching
Funny collection of chemistry puns
What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heβs 0K now.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you canβt helium or curium, you barium!
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.
Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because itβs in the ground state.
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocadoβs number.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What element is a girlβs future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heβs 0K now.
What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe
What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A βgramβ cracker.
What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.
How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a βcarbonkneelβ
What did one titration tell the other? Letβs meet at the endpoint.
How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because itβs basic material.
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down
Why do chemistry professor like to
... keep reading on reddit β‘I'll walk myself out.
He calls it the "te-loaf-one".
I actually thought of this in the shower and wondered if I should post it to /r/showerthoughts.
French here, so the joke is in french, maybe some will still like it.
Ma copine me dit un soir: "oh merde, Γ§a m'endors !"
J'ai directement rΓ©pondu: "sinon tu peux faire un truc qui te Liechtenstein, ou qui te Monaco.."
Hola, beans! Soy te padre!
http://imgur.com/nfmXzTE
The the kitchen I work in, two of the cooks normally have the local Latino top 40 station on the radio. Last night, a bachata song was playing on the radio, when one of my coworkers asked one of the cooks, Omar, about it. I noticed he had a huge grin on his face. I knew something was up.
Coworker: "Hey Omar, what is this stuff on the radio?"
Omar: "It's bachata, te gustas? [do you like it?]"
Coworker: "Oh yeah guey, I love horchata."
Omar then gives my coworker the much needed groan, while I laugh my ass off.
