Suppository Puns

For all the good they've done me I might as well as shoved them up my arse.

Innuendo

It's called inuendo

But I put them behind me

Anything I can rectum mend?

"Doc, I haven't pooped in a week! Please help!"

Doc says sure, and writes him a prescription for a weeks worth of suppositories.

Man comes back the next day, "doc, I took the entire script last night, but nothing happened!"

The doc is shocked, as in his experience suppositories are very effective, and after taking a weeks worth he should have definitely had a BM. Oh well, the doc thinks, and gives him another weeks worth.

Guy comes back the next day. The doc says incredulously, "you've taken 2 weeks worth of suppositories in 2 days, and nothing happened?!?! What are you doing with them, eating them?!?!"

The man replies, "What'd you expect me to do with them, Shove 'em up my ass?!?!"

I don't know if this would normally be considered a dad joke, but it's my dad's favorite joke so I think it should count.

The taste

My wife was complaining of constipation- when in reality she was in labor. "Can you pick me up an enema or suppository?"

Without skipping a beat, I said "of course- sit tight!"

Is my favourite brand of Italian suppository.

Doctor says "did you know you have a suppository in your ear?"

Old man replies "well that explains what happened to my hearing aid!"

dad: hey do you wanna know what they call an Italian suppository?

blank stares from the family

dad: innuendo, (in a terrible Italian accent)

he then proceeded to heartily laugh at his own joke.

edit: formatting

Just sitting at a computer....I overhear her say,

"I have to go give this ass a suppository."