My mom bought me a cheap dictionary for my birthday.

I couldn't find the words to thank her.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 150
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BlankPhotos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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This book was shortened too much.

It was abridged too far.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RonPalancik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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If I make a bridge shorter

Is it now abridged?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HoodooSquad
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What do you call a short troll

abridge troll

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/live4lifelegit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
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Man dad-joked newspaper

Source - Pic Abridged version:

A man who dubbed himself Britain's biggest idiot after losing his wife after tattooing a comedy penis on his own leg is hoping to win back her heart by having it lasered off.

Hapless Stuart, 34, of Southsea, Hants, inked the six-and-a-half inch member on his left thigh, so the end pokes out of his boxer shorts.

"After I did it, my wife woke up in the morning screaming, because there was this massive penis poking out of the duvet. And the tattoo on my leg.

"It caused no end of rows, and she's now kicked me out of home. I deserve it, I suppose."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 57
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Retro21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
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12 years a slave

Dad- Any movies out that you wanna see? 7 Years A Slave looks pretty good

Me- I think it's 12 Years A Slave

Dad: I must've heard about the abridged version.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 66
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stinkyshrimp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
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