Why shouldn't you stare at the Sun?
Because you'll get Corona Iris.
What do you call a geologist who stares at rocks all day?
What do you call a woman that would rather stare at her phone than look up at the Northern lights?
That googly eyed stare.....[OC]
Why did the banana always stare at his reflection?
Because he thought he was very apPEELing
Why shouldn't you stare at hurricanes for too long?
You'll get lost in their eyes.
Since it started raining my wife just stares sadly through the stupid window …
If it gets any worse, I guess I’ll have to let her in.
*stares with confusing concern*
Her: what?
Me: ... What IS that?!
Her: what's what?
Me: there's someone on the side of your face...
Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face
Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!
No! "stairs" not "stares"
**Cowboy stares at something wrong**
Don't ever stare at a woman's hip for too long son
It's just a waist of time
Stare at this picture and watch me make this knot disappear.
LPT: If you have trouble remembering your password, find a picture of some running shoes and stare at it.
maybe it'll help jog your memory.
Don’t stare at a glass of water.
Take a pitcher it’ll last longer.
I’m exhausted! When I get home from work I’m just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.
This evening’s definitely looking up
A man walks into a bar, orders a glass of beer, and stares at the bartender for a long time to make her uncomfortable.
The bartender says, “Take a pitcher. It’ll last longer.”
A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. "My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time...
The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks, "Do you like potato pancakes?"
"No," comes the answer and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.
"Do you have a brother?"
"No."
After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card, "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"
Every dad at some point. Wife: Don’t let me forget to put clothes in the dryer in an hour. Me: Don’t forget to put clothes in the dryer in an hour. Wife: Killer death stare
Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container?
Because it said “concentrate”
Son: Dad, every time a woman walks by you stare at her butt. What's wrong with you?
Me: Nothing, my hindsight is 20/20
Sometimes I just stare at an egg and be happy that it doesn't have to move for survival !
Last night I was finishing up pressure washing my driveway and one neighbor dad drove by and said “lookin’ good, great practice for when you do mine this weekend”, and then turned to his wife in the passenger seat laughing hysterically as she looked at him with a blank stare.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Bored at church, I took off my shoes and started to stare intensely at them.
Wife: What on earth are you doing?
Me: I think I’ve some problems with my inner sole.
I'm gonna stare at the wall for a while
It's been a while since I've played any bored games.
😎Knot seeing the forrest for the trees... 🙄Hardwood stare...
Ever since it started snowing, my girlfriend just stands by the window and stares...
If it gets any worse out there I’ll have to let her back in the house.
When someone says “have a nice day”, stare at them and say, “don’t tell me what to do”!
I can cut wood in half with a mere stare...
It's true! I saw it with my own eyes!
People often stare at my back-alley cosmetic surgery to remove half of my brain...
I have half a mind to tell em where to go.
My GF could not stare at me hard enough after this one.
Her: my watch-tan is so bad!
Me: yeah, you know why?
Her: why?
Me: because your melanin got a-wrist-ed!
My neighbour built a patio on his flat roof and now he sits and stares at us in our garden.
Why did the chimpanzee stare dreamily at the clergyman visiting the zoo?
She was thinking: "That Monk, He's a Prime Mate."
Every full moon, my son goes outside and stares up at it for hours on end.
I know it's just a phase.
What's the search engine of choice for finding pictures of attractive people to stare at?
I asked the gentleman at the UPS store what his record was. He gave me a blank stare.
It seemed a reasonable question, him being a professional boxer and all.
It's only natural that us adults stare at our phones all the time...
because as babies, we were taught to stare at the mobiles above our cribs.
What are Care Bear Stares made of?
Dont stare directly at the sun during the eclipse
You'll make it feel uncomfortable
Got a silent stare from my wife with this one
I grabbed some pulled pork out of the fridge to make a sandwich, and my wife says: "That's disgusting! That pork is over a week old"
I said: "I thought you loved Jurassic Pork"
The teacher gave me a scary death stare
So in our chemistry class today we were taking bonding ; this popped up in my head so I said it outloud
"My name is bond, Carbon Bond"
My dad tends to stare (as they do) when I ask him what he's looking at he has two standard responses:
"Puzzle with a nose in it"
or
"I dunno, the label fell off"
Got the death stare for this one
My wife: "Could you put this up for me?" (tosses me a bag of candy)
Me: "Sure thing." (lift and hold bag above my head)
Why did the blonde girl stare at the can of orange juice?
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