Be like Santa Claus and prevent the spread of Covid

Use Santatizer

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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What is it called when you share a joint and it spreads the virus?

Coweed 19

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sakshiiidee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?

Hummus a tune.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reptiliansarehere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a baker's favourite spread?

Chia butter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sickmate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My son helped me out with this one. What do doors spread on their toast?

Jamb.

Thanks u/rerunthedj

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmoffitt15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Wouldn't be surprised to learn Elon Musk to leads a mercenary team of tesla employees who bite victims to spread coronavirus

They are called the Flu Flux Fang!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/16thPeregrine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Spread the word
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyserSoze94
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the hazelnut spread say to the interrogator?

β€œI’m NUTELLAn ya nothin!!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Balltanker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have discovered the trick STIs use to spread in Alabama

Mum-to-sis

If this isn't original then I seriously spent a whole 20 mins on nothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kayserchan13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever wonder how a Jehovah's witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Digiorno is launching a frozen pizza crust that spreads itself out on the pan...

I don’t feel like there’s a knead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The spread of Covid-19 is based mostly on two factors
  1. How dense the local population is
  2. How dense the local population is
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Martijngamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What would they call coronavirus if it was spread by crows?

Corvid-19

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grakal0r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
When malaria spreads to Italty
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatLogiCat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
You might be worried about overeating while you’re quarantined, but it’s better than risking the spread of disease. So don’t worry...

It will be worth the weight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
One of my favourite dad jokes from the early 00’s: In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu

President Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next!

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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?

. . . Space jam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleChido
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I hope coronavirus doesn't spread through sex.

Coz i dont wanna be the only person left alive here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabbybaddy9
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the duck spread its cheese on?

Quackers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadofTamzin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the coronavirus spread the easiest?

In Massachusetts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yesmodeset
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A new precaution has been implemented to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus.

All TCP communications will be converted to UDP to avoid handshakes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maneatingrabbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person who spreads flu?

Influenzer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctors are pleased at how wide-spread influenza suppression meds have been distributed, in preparation to being used...

They say it's gone anti-viral.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Block is here to spread the word of God! (Dunno if this is a pun)
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidMario64
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Spread the word guys
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electrocuter666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna spread some sentimentality

Over 3 square sentimentals.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TubaXYZ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of spread does a lumberjack like?

Log jam!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socal_Cobra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the rumour about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it
πŸ‘︎ 676
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJR1000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaos-dk13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
PLEASE SPREAD

I have just won a tonne of butter and jam........giving away free

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
🚨︎ report
A dear friend of mine passed away recently. He asked that we spread his cremated ashes in the big fountain in the town square.

He will be mist.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Oddish was part of my bujo spread this week!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneBashOneKill
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I invented a new delicious sandwich spread, and I’m trying to get it patented.

But the Mayo clinic never responds to my letters.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Spread the news! My Grizzly is stuck on loop!

This bears repeating.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lod254
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you wanna keep your chocolate spread a secret from a girl?

You do Nutella.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/msaldierna315
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the hazelnut spread say to the detective?

I'm nuttelling you anything without my lawyer present

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fbi1213
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the hazelnut chocolate spread manufactured by Reddit, Inc...

Snoo-tella.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qubist1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2015
🚨︎ report
How do Communists spread their propaganda?

Using Commiercials.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TryingToCareLess
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Covid spreads based on two factors
  1. A dense population
  2. A population being dense
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/welltechnically7
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The spread of coronavirus is based on two key factors:
  1. How dense the population is
  2. How dense the population is
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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