If an octopus is called an octopus because of its eight limbs, what would you call an octopus with only seven limbs?
An amputee.
How do you measure how heavy a chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Another one for the IT crowd (if you got this, you are old - sorry)
My friend told me that eagles eat small insects and seeds
I said “that’s bushtit!”
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator
My son wanted some girl advice, so I told him, “If you are intimidated by a date, remember one thing.”
They are just big raisins.
Two fishes are in a tank
One of them says "so how do I drive this thing"
What’s green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree could kill you?
A pool table!
Perhaps the greatest Facebook comment I have ever made
What do you call a barking dog in the Arctic?
A sub-woofer
Thanks for sorting by new you are doing a great job :)
Two parrots on a perch
One says to the other: Can you smell fish?
So a snake walks in to a bar
The bartender says, "How'd you do that?"
My wife found her first whole sand dollar at the beach.
I told her that she's rich. A whole sand dollar is worth 100 sand cents.
(wife shakes head in utter disappointment)
[REQUEST] Star Wars Bird Puns
Working on a little something. Give me your best and I will include you in the credits.
So far I only have: Coo Skywalker
Edit: thanks for all the replies! I will post game here soon, and pm those whose puns I end up using.
What crime was the fire-starting bear charged with?
Urson.
