A Catholic High School had a legendary American football program

Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily. Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.

One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.

As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.

The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:

No Offense, Nun Taken

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaintMeerkat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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My son, who's studying ancient Greek culture in school, got me again.

In the kitchen this morning, he tells me: "Dad, you know the Spartans were really fierce, and they'd throw away old weapons. They thought that if it wasn't sharp, it didn't have a point."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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Neighbor (who is a dad) just dad joked me

I was explaining the rope climb that was in an obstacle race (Spartan Race for any other spartans out there). I said half of the ropes have knots in them to make it easier, and the other half don't.

Without missing a beat, "So you're saying there's the have's, and the have knots"

Sonofabitch

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ARockOrSomething
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2015
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[REQUEST] Can Anyone help me come up with a punny spartan helmet name/description?

I want to rename an item I use in a video game to something clever. The helmet is a spartan helmet painted gold so anything witty would be nice! Thanks in advance!

I should probably add the item is a helmet and is cosmetic. The character weilds a rocket launcher and is from teamfortress to anyone familiar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ifailftw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2013
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My fiance asked what I thought of the new Greek restaurant.

I said it was nice but it was a little Spartan inside.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aadhate
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2016
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Dad Joke at Spartan Race

My brother and I were at a Spartan race this morning. After the race, we went to the festival area to check out the booths. One of them was a boot camp advertising with a 60 second challenge to win bragging rights. We weren't interested so we kept walking, but they hollered at us.

Girl 1: C'mon, it's only 60 seconds!

Girl 2: What's 60 seconds anyway?

Me: It's one minute!

They left us alone after that...

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darksweetz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2015
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A Catholic High School had a legendary American football team. Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily…

Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.

One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.

As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.

The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:

No Offense, Nun Taken

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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