I'll bet the guy who invented the snooze button...

.....never invented anything else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Alarm clocks are great but the snooze button was even better. Because after sleeping for eight hours, what I need...

...is a nap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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What do you call a sleepy AndrΓ© 3000?

YawndrΓ© 3000

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πŸ‘€︎ u/offensivecaptcha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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I asked my brother how his date went. He said he found out she was an anesthesiologist.

Talk about a snooze fest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I’m not saying that he’s lazy,

But his smoke alarm has a snooze button.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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My son is mad at his alarm clock,

He’s been calling it β€œFake snooze” 😴

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamWize-Ganji
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Have you ever eaten an alarm clock?

It’s very time consuming.

πŸ‘︎ 251
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZuluGolfSierra
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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Self-help and advice puns
  • The best way to save face is to keep the lower half of it closed.

  • Those who seek to get even only end up at greater odds.

  • Those who sling mud end up only losing ground.

  • Want a bouncier water bed? Just fill it with spring water.

  • Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.

  • Keep your dreams alive -- quickly hit the snooze button.

  • Don't worry about the bird flu too much -- it's tweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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What do you call a sleepy moose?

A snooze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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I tried to keep my dream alive.

Unfortunately, the snooze button was hard to reach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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Slumber One Dad

Father's Day shirt I made for my dad who likes to spend some quality time snoozing on the couch. Thought some of you may appreciate it.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D39JNZ7?customId=B07537H64L&th=1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T-Shirt_Dude
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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So John just started working at the butcher's shop...

and things are going great for the first few days, handling deliveries, putting cuts into and out of storage, etc. After his first week, coming in at 8am to work with the Butcher's supervision, the Butcher decides that he can trust John with a little more responsibility. The Butcher is a bit of a perfectionist and he tells John that he has to be there by 6am Monday morning because a delivery of fresh beef was due to arrive at 6:15 and it needed storage and processing immediately. John was incredibly excited and set extra alarms Monday. He snoozes his 5am alarm, but his 5:15 alarm gets him going, and he arrives at the shop at 5:55, tired and slightly panicked. He gets into the back room and takes a catnap.

He is shaken awake at 7:45am by the Butcher, who is asking where the cuts are. The deliveryman didn't see John and so the beef wasn't delivered or cut. The Butcher was incredibly disappointed in John, and had to fired him because he had caused too many missed steaks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howlingchief
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2017
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All good days start with a dad joke

laying in my with my girlfriend, phone alarm goes off, hit snooze, we wake up gradually anyways, start milling about the room, snooze goes off

GF: Who's calling?

pick up phone, put it to my ear

Me: Hello, alarm? Yes, this is James. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS CALL ME EVERY MORNING?!?!?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Only1nDreams
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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A tense conversation with the wife

wife sneezes
baby wakes and starts to fuss
wife: Sorry little one didn't mean to wake you when I snooze
me: snoze?
wife: sure, freeze: froze, sneeze: snoze.
me: so is the present tense of chose "cheese?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tift
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
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