I am sick of my friend’s nonstop puns about The Abominable Snowman.

Yeti still insists on doing it.

πŸ‘︎ 268
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do I always feel great on Saturdays and Sundays, and sick on all the other days ?

Maybe I just have a weekend immune system..

πŸ‘︎ 265
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Who can drink 5L of gas without getting sick?

Jerry can!

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naultmel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Her : I am leaving , I'm sick of you wearing a different t-shirt every hour .

Me : Wait . I can change .

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a dart board on the ceiling make you sick?

Causes you to throw up

πŸ‘︎ 141
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_sobe87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
The doctor told me I was sick. I asked him if he had the cure.

He told me that he was more of a Rolling Stones guy.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Hey daddy- how do you know when a drink is sick?

It becomes cough-y.

-My 11 year son a few moments after I had coffee go down the wrong pipe and had a bit of a coughing fit.

proud dad noises

πŸ‘︎ 236
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/knowthe_numbers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of sick bird breaks the law?

An ill eagle (Credit to my first grader 😊)

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Sick beets
πŸ‘︎ 382
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I was sick and tired of my wife forgetfully leaving her feminine hygiene products in the toilet, so I confronted her

She immediately flushed with embarrassment.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What body of water will make you sick?

The hepatitis-sea.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Who can drink fifteen litres of gasoline and not get sick?

Jerry Can

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moneygut
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are always sick on weekdays.

Me: It must be my weekend immune system.

πŸ‘︎ 400
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t ant colonies ever get sick?

.... because they’re full of anty bodies

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Finneagan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m so sick of all the top jokes on this sub getting recycled

Honestly, they’re trash.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StringTraveler
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Sick beets
πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scaulbylausis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t ants get sick?

They have little anty bodies

(Courtesy of my fellow dad LT)

πŸ‘︎ 153
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/em_79
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman is sick in the hospital. Doctors tell her she only has days to live. She summons for her husband because she has something important to tell him. He rushes to the hospital.

When he arrives she says β€œI’ve decided what I want for dinner.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dano558
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a popular person who gets sick?

An influenza

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My cat got sick, so I had to give it some pills. To make my life easier, I wrapped it up in ham.

When it couldn’t run away I could jam the pills in no problem.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sireldo
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the religious donkey say to his sick friend?

"I'll bray for you"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/namnlos1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What is it called when a writer is sick of writing?

Authoritis!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/godkingmaker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I was driving my new Toyota down the street and some kid said 'sick car'

I replied, "thanks, I'll get it tested for Corollavirus".

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SmokeRingHalo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
They finally found out what makes dog sick

Barkteria

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guy-Inkognito
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Which one of the bees do all the sick bees in the beehive go to?

The Dr one

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My cat was just sick on the carpet,

I don’t think it’s feline well.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Where did Luke Bryan take his infant when he was sick?

Baby, ICU.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.

Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Sick of everyone’s swiney comments about my ring
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FermentToBee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I went into the kitchen this morning and there was a "Get better soon" card on the table for me. I called out to my wife asking what it was for because I wasn't sick.

She shouted back from the other room "It's an ultimatum."

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend's walked out on me, saying she's sick to death of my healthy, but boring diet.

Never mind though, plenty more fish in the freezer.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife just broke up with me. She's sick and tired of my constant Zodiac puns.

It Taurus apart. I'm in Pisces typing this.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
It made me sick that my chimney started falling off the house.

Luckily I caught the flue

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t ants get sick?

Because they have little anty-bodies.

Edit: THANK YOU!! Kind stranger whoever you are out there, for the silver!! Just trying to keep the kids facepalming and the wives eye rolling. You guys are awesome!

πŸ‘︎ 233
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BelleskaTROn-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

It must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 312
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the skeleton do when he got sick?

He was coffin! πŸ€£πŸ’€βš°οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EddieVR4ever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I think my dad's getting sick of the Bernie memes. He also did not appreciate my response.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jd246246
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I am sick and tired of people calling me lazy, so I'm going to kill myself.

But, the gun is all the way over there.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you feel when you get sick after eating Mediterranean food?

Falafel

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/detroitsouthpaw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm sick
πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.

Me: Wait. I can change.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
When is it against the law to have a sick bird?

When it’s an ILL-EAGLE

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBlackArrows
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don't ants get sick

Because they have anty bodies

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My boss said, β€œI find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”

I said, β€œIt must be my weekend immune system.”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days

I said it must be my weekend immune system

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LuxCassandra
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t ants get sick

Because they have Ant-ibodies

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whydatduck66
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report

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