I am sick of my friend’s nonstop puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti still insists on doing it.
Why do I always feel great on Saturdays and Sundays, and sick on all the other days ?
Maybe I just have a weekend immune system..
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
Who can drink 5L of gas without getting sick?
Her : I am leaving , I'm sick of you wearing a different t-shirt every hour .
Me : Wait . I can change .
How does a dart board on the ceiling make you sick?
The doctor told me I was sick. I asked him if he had the cure.
He told me that he was more of a Rolling Stones guy.
Hey daddy- how do you know when a drink is sick?
It becomes cough-y.
-My 11 year son a few moments after I had coffee go down the wrong pipe and had a bit of a coughing fit.
proud dad noises
What kind of sick bird breaks the law?
An ill eagle
(Credit to my first grader 😊)
I was sick and tired of my wife forgetfully leaving her feminine hygiene products in the toilet, so I confronted her
She immediately flushed with embarrassment.
What body of water will make you sick?
Who can drink fifteen litres of gasoline and not get sick?
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are always sick on weekdays.
Me: It must be my weekend immune system.
Why don’t ant colonies ever get sick?
.... because they’re full of anty bodies
I’m so sick of all the top jokes on this sub getting recycled
Why don’t ants get sick?
They have little anty bodies
(Courtesy of my fellow dad LT)
A woman is sick in the hospital. Doctors tell her she only has days to live. She summons for her husband because she has something important to tell him. He rushes to the hospital.
When he arrives she says “I’ve decided what I want for dinner.”
What do you call a popular person who gets sick?
My cat got sick, so I had to give it some pills. To make my life easier, I wrapped it up in ham.
When it couldn’t run away I could jam the pills in no problem.
What did the religious donkey say to his sick friend?
What is it called when a writer is sick of writing?
I was driving my new Toyota down the street and some kid said 'sick car'
I replied, "thanks, I'll get it tested for Corollavirus".
They finally found out what makes dog sick
Which one of the bees do all the sick bees in the beehive go to?
My cat was just sick on the carpet,
I don’t think it’s feline well.
Where did Luke Bryan take his infant when he was sick?
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
Sick of everyone’s swiney comments about my ring
I went into the kitchen this morning and there was a "Get better soon" card on the table for me. I called out to my wife asking what it was for because I wasn't sick.
She shouted back from the other room "It's an ultimatum."
My girlfriend's walked out on me, saying she's sick to death of my healthy, but boring diet.
Never mind though, plenty more fish in the freezer.
My wife just broke up with me. She's sick and tired of my constant Zodiac puns.
It Taurus apart. I'm in Pisces typing this.
It made me sick that my chimney started falling off the house.
Luckily I caught the flue
Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have little anty-bodies.
Edit: THANK YOU!! Kind stranger whoever you are out there, for the silver!! Just trying to keep the kids facepalming and the wives eye rolling. You guys are awesome!
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.
Me: Ok, and for the main course?
What did the skeleton do when he got sick?
I think my dad's getting sick of the Bernie memes. He also did not appreciate my response.
I am sick and tired of people calling me lazy, so I'm going to kill myself.
But, the gun is all the way over there.
How do you feel when you get sick after eating Mediterranean food?
Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
When is it against the law to have a sick bird?
Why don't ants get sick
Because they have anty bodies
My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days
I said it must be my weekend immune system
Why don’t ants get sick
Because they have Ant-ibodies
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