My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Dad Joked by daughter

I had to go to court and was wearing a suit and tie. My 10 year old daughter thought this was fantastic for dress up was very interested. I took this as a teachable moment and wanted to tell her about showing respect for your personal appearance and showing up professionally. So I asked her, do you know why I dressed like this? She said to be professional. I said I want to show that I respect myself and I have respect for the court so I dressed accordingly. She laughed and said, "You mean you dressed acourtingly."

tl;dr

Daughter dad joked me about wearing a suit about dressing accourtingly

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notactjack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Just yellow please

One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies,

"Well, sonny, I can't remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger."

The owner replies, "Well, let's see... Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?"

The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, "I want this color sonny."

To which Nathan replies, "Ma'am I'm sorry, but we don't have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?"

"No son, I want this color."

"But ma'am, they didn't make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?" says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale.

By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about.

The secretary replies, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrotalusHorridus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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A young autistic man and Naka-Kon.

This is fairly long.

My adult son is autistic, him and a friend are going to Naka-Kon this year as they both enjoy Anime.

The wife and I were talking to our son about it.

Wife: Are you going to wear a costume?

Son: No, we are just going to go and check everything out.

Me: You should wear a koala bear suit and take your resume with you.

Son: Why would I do that?

Me: So you can hand the resumes out to hawt chicks and show them how Koalafied you are.

Son and I burst out laughing, wife looks on at the two idiots in the room.

Good times.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tatertater144
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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Darth vader...

Screen: shows Darth vader

Dad: 'bloody hell that suit must have cost an arm. And a leg'

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joseph_Jobes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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My dad called the other day...

Dad calls me, and asks what I'm doing "I'm watching a show called Suits" is my answer, and then he goes: "Oh does it suit you?"

Note: I'm not English, but he still said that sentence in English, just to make that joke.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oblittan
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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Grandpa's Joke

My grandma asks my grandpa if the show "Suits" was on, he says it isn't, but he and my father could put suits on if she wished.

He thought he was hilarious.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenDay1039
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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