My wife asked for a sharper knife

The other one just wasn’t cutting it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blisterson
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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My mom asked the server for a sharper knife

Holding up the butter knife and saying β€œThis just won’t cut it.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuuanAnfor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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My parents always told me that if I watched too much TV then I would get square eyes?

But wouldn't that just make my vision sharper?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bend1010
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Dad hit my mom with this one today

We were about to open presents and my mom asked my dad for "something sharp" to which he replied "do you need something sharper than my wit?"

She totally gave him the look.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloth_jones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
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Dadjoking Shorty (part 1)

A bit of backstory. I'm notorious among my circle of friends for telling "terrible puns/jokes" I think it's amazing, but I'd been rolling them out all day, patience for puns must've gotten shortened.

I'm talking with Shorty (named because she had short hair) and she was telling me about a book she had started.

Shorty "So the book's called 'Cutting for Stone' and it's like a doctor drama kinda thing, the only issue is that that it's super heavy on the medical terminology, so many bloody surgeries and procedures are listed, and I don't really know anything about that kids stuff. Like it's got an interesting plot but I don't know if I can't finish it, I'm not to sure I'm cut out for it"

At that last line I began laughing (her pun was unintentional) and compliment her on it "ha that was good. You're not 'cut out' for it"

Shorty "Oh god that was terrible just stop"

Me "You want me to 'cut' it out?"

Shorty "I'm going to kill you if you keep this up woman"

Me "You're gonna 'cut' me up?"

Shorty "Your jokes are terrible and it's proven that puns make people angry"

At this point I was just rolling in my chair laughing I really couldn't keep it together, possibly the best reply rolls through my head after this comment, I crack up, there I am choking out as tears come to my eyes. "Well it's a good thing it's not a PUNishable offense"

The girl next to me starts laughing as shorty yells at me how I can't just start crying at my own jokes.

TLDR; A witty banter of sharper than usual humor, as I walk a razor thin line of pissing off my friend and pissing myself with laughter.

I have many other stories so I titled this part one,if anybody likes my writing and jokes I'll share the rest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bingo4913
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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