Epitome of self control
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📅︎ Feb 21 2020
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Sometimes you think of a pun so good, you lactose the self-control to resist drawing it
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👤︎ u/CluKInCok
📅︎ Jan 31 2019
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It's Christmas, and my dad has abandoned all self control.

http://i.imgur.com/5l3ihob.jpg

He pasted this sign on himself while vacuuming this morning... He has a talking watch on, and is prepping his trick/extendable fork for Xmas dinner. The puns and euphemisms are flowing like water. This is his day.

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📅︎ Dec 25 2013
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I stoped a women from getting kidnapped today

Wife: How? Me: Self control

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📅︎ Oct 28 2019
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A man brought his son to the grocery store...

A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance.

Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon."

A nearby mother was very impressed with the father's self control, and wanted to express her gratitude for such calm parenting. "Sir, I'm amazed that you are able to be so calm! It's not every day I see such patient and gracious parenting. Now little guy, what seems to be the problem, Donald?"

"Oh no, ma'am, you're mistaken!" The father interjected, "This is my son, Henry. I'm Donald!"

^(Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there! Thank you for all you do.)

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👤︎ u/J-Sluit
📅︎ Jun 21 2015
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Circus act

This guy I work with has been talking to this girl who does this erotic acrobatics stuff, and he was describing her routine to us. Another co-worker goes "That sounds like Cirque-de-Soleil." I immediately followed with, "Yeah, and Greg is going to get Cirque-de-SO-LAID!" My inner dad urges outweighed my self-control.

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📅︎ Jan 25 2015
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