What did the depressed man in Saint Louis say?

β€œI live in a constant state of Missouri”

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NWC-Calamari
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone once compared me to the UK TV presenter, Paul O'Grady

I said, , "That's Savage."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergioarmagh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Ladder Day Saints ascending to heaven
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krazyblackbelt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
When did Paul McCartney write β€œSilly Love Songs”?

His entire career.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fastballcount
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leemhuis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Today’s temperature, in Minnesota, walked into a bar

Bartender looked at it and said, β€œwhy do you have to be so negative!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanpatrick2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is Jesus considered the richest saint?

He made the most prophets.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
John-Paul, Georgian Ringo.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the fan say no to Paul McCartney’s marriage proposal?

Because it could only oscillate horizontally

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nimakkan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Paul McCartney say when he met John’s new girlfriend?

Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Recently moved to a new place and position for my job. Boss on the first day said "Hey Paul glad you made it, how you liking your new office?"

I said "I think you forgot my name, but I'm a Justin Well, thanks."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AintNoSundanceKid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?

Minnesota.

Yeah.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Who is the patron saint of copying people in emails?

St. Francis of a CC

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarDarBinks124
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was surprised to learn my family had never heard of the patron Saint of e-mails

So I had to tell them about Saint Francis of A CC

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatchitt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
SLogan Paul

If Logan Paul was an activist

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bipolarbear1797
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Paul lost his eyesight in the Bible

He never Saul Jesus coming

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The Fast and The Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
58 years ago today, Ringo joined forces with John, Paul, and George.

Pete got sacked, but it was for the Best.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluejeanspiano
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Go to the animal shelter for a dog and you're a saint.

Go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everyone loses their mind.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Then it must be Paul’s, y’all.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Paul Wahlberg owns Wahlburgers

If he owned Wal-Mart, would it be called Wahl-Mart?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/26SobbingHorses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the night before Saint Lawrence’s Day?

Yves Saint Laurent

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my son I believe everyone goes to heaven until the resurrection of the saints

He said, "Why just the saints? There's like 31 other football teams."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Horton780
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Which of the saints could predict the future?

Saint Cristobal

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_thechancellor_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy

It's not like I did something

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sash_Mystq
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody asked, "Who is your favorite Beatle? John, Paul, George, or Ringo?"

I said, "I like Pete Best."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juevolitos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
At the pearly gates, Saint Peter asks new arrivals what they did for a living...

The first person says β€œI was a doctor, I saved lives.” St. Peter lets him in.

The second person says β€œI was a teacher, I educated and inspired hundreds of children”. St Peter lets him in.

The third says β€œI was a musician, I brought joy and beautiful music to many people.”

St. Peter says β€œok, but you’ll have to go around back and come in through the kitchen.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Just arrived in Minnesota: the land of 10,000 lakes and 1 bad pun..
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Saint Patrick’s Day cancelled due to COVID-19

We are very sorry to announce that Saint Patrick’s Day has been cancelled this year due to COVID-19. We are doing our best to keep the leprechauns in quarantine but as you know, they are very tricky and do not like feeling trapped. Everyone please stay safe.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Littlepips
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the patron saint of homeless dogs and cats?

St. Ray

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If a Minnesota NBA player transfered to the Minnesota NHL team

would he become a Timberwolf in the Wild?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Can you believe that they are still together after all of the crap they have been through?

Your buttcheeks

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwitcherDeath07
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
John, Paul, George, Ringo, and Herbie
πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m always robbing Peter to pay Paul.

That makes me a re-Pete offender

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
"Phyrigian mode."
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dbnp19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Picture Perfect Puns

Ancient Scot Richard's Warriors: Dick's Picts

Loki - Trick pics (from my brother)

Pictures of an Adam Sandler movie: "Click" pics.

Pictures of a Kaitlin Olson character: The Mick's pics

Screenahots of these comments: Wit pics

Leaky faucet: drip pics

X1 Cumberbatch photos: Benedict pics

X2 Pope photos: Benedict pics (also works)

X3 Turncoat snaps: Benedict pics

X4 "Wong" image: Benedict pics

Legal command: Writ pics

Pictures of twigs: Stick pics

A Christmas Story scene: lick pics

Pictures of a Winter Saint: Nick pics

Syringe photos: prick pics (from a friend)

Sporting goods store images: Dick's pics.

Dan Harmon cartoon character: Rick's pics.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I soda not see that comming
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrwaffleMssyrup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Visiting Minnesota, family wanted to visit the Mall of America

β€œEhh, you’ve been to one, you’ve been to the mall”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkSoulsIdiot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the patron saint of email?

Saint Francis of a cc

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TabCompletion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Paul got his name changed in the Bible...

He never Saul it coming

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
58 years ago today, Ringo joined forces with John, Paul, and George.

Pete got sacked, but it was for the Best.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluejeanspiano
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, ...

an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...

The doorman stops the

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainz4Dayz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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