Sage Puns

So you're saying you need some sage advice?

If a woman is beautiful, tell her she's smart. If a woman is smart tell her she's beautiful. If she's neither tell her she lost weight.

While practicing on my L's: "When you're in a hurry, yellow is just a funny shade of green"

My dad's friend has a dog that always gets carsick and throws up, and he was asking my dad for advice on how to keep her from vomiting every time they get in the car.

"You should let her drive."

... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.

Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.

She's such a Thyme waster

Dear Lord as week seek to produce puns worthy of your praise, lettuce relish this opportunity. We ask that you would cause humor to sprout in the hearts of those who think us nuts. Continue to cultivate in us passion, fruit which beets back sadness and joy which leeks into others. Though some may say we are corny we know you will give us sage wisdom. Give us the confidence to know we are kale’in it as we bring choy to the world and live apply ever after.

I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds.

... I found the work too Thyme consuming.

It was just a waist of thyme

Guess it was his thyme to go.

It's sage advice.

Sage is the best spice

But I just don't have the thyme.

Sage advice.

“I’ve got all the thyme in the world.”

He said only thyme would tell.

I don't think I have Thyme for all that!

He gave sage advice.

Thyme management

I tell them “it’s next to the sage”

He gave me some sage advice.

I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.

I told her not to threaten me with a good thyme.

...he gave me some sage advice.

Some say it heals all wounds

I have a grate thyme.

Spring, Summer, Pumpkin, and Winter

He gave me some sage advice. It was about thyme too.

"Well well well, would you look at the thyme!"

Because then at least the Trains would run on Parsley, Sage, Rosemary AND Thyme!

She said, “Where would you find the time?”

I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”

I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"

She said, “Where would you find the time?”

I said, “That should be easy. Next to the sage.”

She said, “Where would you find the time?”

I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”

You might ask how i find the time It's easy it's right there next to the sage

I said it is there next to the sage.

I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"

Someone asked me ‘Where do you find the time’

I said ‘Right next to the sage’