Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Itβs kind of sad that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Itβs sad the neighborhood went down the crapper
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︎ Apr 10 2021
From my son. "What do you call Coffee for sad people?"
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︎ Apr 11 2021
Welp, his son is sad now
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︎ Mar 20 2021
What do you call a sad straw berry
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︎ Apr 17 2021
Sad news fellas, I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Lorraine is gone.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What do you call a sad flower?
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Why are guitars always so sad?
Because theyβre always getting picked on
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I started to pet my cat as he was sad.
After that, he was feline better.
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︎ Feb 27 2021
Sunday is sad
But the day before is an even sadder day
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︎ Jan 27 2021
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Why was the sea anemone sad?
Because he'd rather see a friend.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Why was the dog sad?
His girlfriend was a bitch!
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︎ Feb 27 2021
What do you call a sad frog?
π︎ 14
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Sad news. The man who invented predictive text has passed away.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
From my 5 year old mind: βWhy is trash always sad ?β
Because itβs down in the dumps! π
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Lifeguards are sad to report the drowning of a hippie last night.
π︎ 107
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︎ Feb 26 2021
I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He donβt come around here no more
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Finished season 5 and now Iβm sad
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Itβs a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldnβt whisk for a batter friend.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all its problems
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Why are numbers below 0 always sad
Because everything around them is negative
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
So sad
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︎ Jul 27 2020
Why was Mr.Bee sad?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
I think not letting my dog eat water melon is makings her sad.
She's a little melancholy.
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︎ Feb 21 2021
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasnβt as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person sheβs dating is). Happy new year everybody
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Sad cat noises :(
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︎ Dec 24 2020
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Why was the strawberry sad?
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︎ Jan 20 2021
*sad mario noises*
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Never write sad songs
Youβre just making a bad situation verse!
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︎ Nov 26 2020
A person who crushes can for a living is always sad
Because his job is Soda pressing
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︎ Oct 29 2020
As my daughter opened her last gift on Christmas morning with a sad look in her eyes...
I said: βIf you think thatβs the end, youβve got another thing coming!β
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Why was the amputee sad?
He had just been defeeted.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
So close to being sad
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Why was Mike Tyson Sad at the strip club?
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.
It's been reported he could have done with another coat.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
What did one sad cow say to the other sad cow?
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︎ Jan 03 2021
*sad Ted noises*
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body
I gave her a shoulder to crayon
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
Whenever my girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body
I gave her a shoulder to crayon...
π︎ 26
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︎ Apr 16 2021
What do you call a sad coffee?
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 08 2021
Why was the math book so sad?
π︎ 25
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Sad news. I broke up with my girlfriend Loraine
She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Loraine is gone
ripped off
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︎ Jan 01 2021
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