What did the rowdy guy in the yoga class say when the instructor asked him to leave?

Namaste.

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👤︎ u/elko
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
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My kid’s chemistry teacher was arrested in class yesterday. He was pouring out teaspoons of sodium chloride for each student, but because the class was rowdy, he kept losing his place and having to start over.

The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.

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👤︎ u/WCBrann
📅︎ Mar 09 2021
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How do you get 100 rowdy Canadians out of the pool?

You ask them.

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📅︎ Nov 03 2020
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My friend started to get rowdy and throw around bread...

I had to read him the rye-ot act

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📅︎ Dec 01 2019
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My roomate's brother makes a duck call.

So My roomate invited me to his family Thanksgiving/holiday party yesterday. After dessert we're all sitting around and the children present are being rowdy. My roomate's brother calls them all over to our table and insists on showing them how to make a duck call. He begins ripping apart an empty soda can and wrapping it up in a very complicated fashion with a napkin and a plastic fork. He meticulously takes the top off, makes strips of metal, and winds them into this plastic fork. He carries on like this for about five minutes, the children utterly transfixed, sit watching until his creation is finally "complete". He then holds it up to his mouth, inhales, and shouts: "HERE DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY!!!"

👍︎ 2k
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📅︎ Dec 08 2013
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My son splashed soup all over my wife at dinner...

... After we cleaned the mess, because he thought it was party time not dinner time, my wife was sitting, defeated, on the couch lamenting having a rowdy toddler. She was listing all the things that could be different if he was calmer (the kid is always full-throttle and smart as fuck, I love it but it's a lot to handle) including not stinking like soup. I look into her eyes, hold her hands in mine, lift her chin up and said:

"Baby, I love you. You smell super."

In unrelated news, sleeping on the couch is better than advertised.

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👤︎ u/greymalken
📅︎ Nov 20 2017
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My wife is gonna make a great dad someday.

So my wife and I are house/petsitting for some friends of ours. They have two cats, and a ten month old German Shepard. Being ten months old, the puppy is still a little rowdy. Tonite, after we took him for a walk, we let him kind of hang out in the house.

He still wanted to play, and jammed his elephant toy in my wife's face as she sat on the couch crocheting. She pulled back and he jammed it into her chest, then released and bit down to get a better grip on the toy.

In doing so he just clipped my wife's ahem nipple. She immediately pushed the dog away and grabbed the affected area. I stood up to help, somehow, and asked her if she was okay.

She looked me straight in the eye and said "Yeah, it's just a little nip." I couldn't be more proud.

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👤︎ u/alfrohawk
📅︎ Jul 24 2014
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Carpet

My dad and I are debating whether or not to take the family dog on an outing. She sheds a lot, and can be pretty rowdy. I said that since we don't have carpet in the car, we can take the dog. Dad stops, turns to me, and says "well then we'd have a...car pet."

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👤︎ u/Procello
📅︎ Jun 04 2015
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Here's a little science one my dad said tonight.

At, dinner my mother was going on about a very rowdy kid in her class and he mentioned that he might be bi-polar. At this point, my dad stops her and says, "wait, so he's from the north and south pole?"

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📅︎ Dec 18 2013
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