AdiΕ«tΔΜtΕ! Roman pun assistance
So I'm trying to write an essay about the Roman Republic becoming the Roman Empire, thought it'd be funny to start off with a pun but I can't think of anything so... help?
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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender, "we don't serve your type."
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I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159.
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Poison IV, though, just made the victim extremely itchy.
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I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
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...did that make it a VI P room?
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Which Roman emperor suffered from epilepsy?
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︎ May 09 2022
Did you hear they're talking about getting rid of Roman Numerals?
Well not on my watch they're not!!!
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︎ Apr 12 2022
Did you hear about the Roman emperor with the sharpest wit?
His name was Julius Scissor.
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︎ Apr 27 2022
What do you call a depressed Roman God?
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︎ May 04 2022
Doing math with Roman numerals is fun...
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︎ Mar 24 2022
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︎ Apr 01 2022
Why Chinese president Xi Jingping hates Romans
They address him as President Eleven Jingping
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︎ Apr 01 2022
The Ancient Romans
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︎ Dec 29 2021
They want to banish Roman numerals!?
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︎ Mar 09 2022
what do you call a Roman that has a cold?
Juliussneezer
My dad poped into the room and told us this. Groans all around
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︎ Mar 04 2022
How does a Roman Emperor divide his empire?
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︎ Mar 11 2022
A Roman walks into the bar...
A roman walks into the bar and asks for a Martinus.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
Another Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please!"
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︎ Aug 25 2021
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︎ Feb 21 2022
What do you call Six without the S?
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A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends werenβt very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
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︎ Feb 04 2022
A husband and wife were shopping in Ancient Rome
The husband took a L toga and showed it to her wife.
The wife said , βIβm big, but Iβm not that big! Get me a smaller size.
So the husband returned the L toga and grabbed the XL one.
The wife replied, βThatβs better.β
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︎ Mar 23 2022
A woman at a party mentioned that she just got her doctorate in studying Roman underfloor heating systems.
I asked her "Wow, that's sounds really interesting, did you have to do a normal course for that, or was it some sort of intense Hypercourse?"
I was pretty happy that my horde of useless trivia finally came in handy. And she was happy that my eyes didn't glaze over when she talked about Roman tessellated floors.
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︎ Dec 01 2021
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︎ Feb 07 2022
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︎ Feb 28 2022
When my kids are Roman around past their bedtimes
I feel like I need to Greece them to get them to calm down.
Italy'what, I'll stop making bad puns now.
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︎ Dec 14 2021
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars all walked into the same bar.
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They all ask the bartender for a drink, but he says "Sorry. We don't serve your type here."
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︎ Dec 01 2021
A long time ago, I was really into history: Napoleon, the Roman Empire, Potsdam Conference.
Unfortunately, my memory isn't what it used to be. Potsdamned if I remember anything now.
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︎ Dec 20 2021
I struggle with Roman Numerals until I got to 159
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︎ Apr 25 2022
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
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︎ Jan 27 2022
Why did Arial get divorced from Times New Roman?
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︎ Mar 07 2022
I canβt remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 as Roman Numerals.
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︎ Oct 11 2021
A Roman walks into a bar
and raises his two fingers and says β5 beers pleaseβ
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︎ Dec 27 2021
A Roman guy walks up to a bar, holds up two fingers and says to the bartender,
βFive beers, please.β
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︎ Dec 23 2021
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
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︎ Jun 18 2021
A Roman walks into a bar
A roman walks into the bar, holds up one finger and says, "I'd like to order 1 Martinus".Β The roman pauses, holds up two fingers and says, "and five beers".Β The bartender says, "Don't you mean martini?" Β The roman says, "no, just the one."
The bartender says, "I, for one, do not like Roman numerals"
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︎ Nov 04 2021
I for one
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︎ Apr 11 2022
A Roman walks into a barβ¦
holds up two fingers and says: Iβll have 5 beers.
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︎ Nov 17 2021
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