The gorge cut by the River Gelt in Geltsdale: North Pennines, Cumbria [OC] [6000x4000]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LightSweep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Legit got horny from this map selection
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortsLiker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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For first time in 2000 hours of WH2 I had Empire actually working together despite backstabbing by other races

Sit back for an interesting story

Got myself Empire Engineer Mod and started my Empire Run as Karl Franz. Nothing unusual happened at first, cleared my starting enemies when something interesting happened. I received Death Wizard from quest, not my usual pick but okay. This Wizard ended up saving my campaign in the early game.

After clearing Skarsnik i started to get lucky and recieve some good items, mainly ones centered about debuffing enemy troops. With my fort at lvl 3 i felt safe to go and deal with Vampires and Drycha. Against my luck Orcs to the north managed to defeat Boris so i had to go and save him. After few turns his province was reunited to him and Boris became a nice trading partner of mine.

As my luck went up a bit so did my bad luck. Skullsmasherz somehow called in Karak-We-Stomped-Kimler-And-Took- Blackstone against me. I managed to hold of first wave of orcs and dwarves but Karak-We-Stomped-Kimler-And-Took- Blackstone then pulled in Paravon against me. So rushing to the south here is where my Death Wizard shined

Every fight i had this Wizard managed to reduce enemy army stats to 0 with spells combined with Karl's items i recieved earlier. It allowed me to fight a battle after battle without stopping or needing to replenish. Soon i razed Karak-We-Stomped-Kimler-And-Took- Blackstone and Paravon to ashes. Other Bretonnian lords occupied their lands and declared war of Skullsmasherz.

Because i had to deal with south and north first Manfred conquered a good chunk of Ostermark, Averland, Talabecland and Stirland. I rushed to relieve Stirland capitol of the siege when i noticed that Talabecland also had his capitol sieged. That's when i saw him, fucking Boris with his province secured by me turned to fight Manfred and his army relieve the siege of Talabecland capitol. I was overjoyed.

I moved my forces into Ostermark to clear Manfred and invading Azhag. After securing Ostermark in 3 turns i noticed Averlands capitol is under siege by Vlad. As i went to move Karl south Gelt declared war on Vlad and defeated his army saving Averland's capitol. I couldn't believe it, electors were actually helping me.

Manfred pulled in Skaven against us and Azhag pulled in Drycha. Luckily Boris, Gelt, Me ( Karl ), Ostermark and Averland fragments together with Talabecland fought a bloody yet good campaign and we won! With Sylvania under our control and Manfred defeated i made my way to my capitol to upgrade my army.

When i disbanded my troops i pr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KappaIsWayOfLife
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rumblebully
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Von_Bostaph
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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I'd ruther not say
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Rational
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mainhoonmadrasi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zayan-ali
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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If Apple made a car what would it be missing?

Windows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moplex1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzagri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...

..... Will get a reward.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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"ground" the kid
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freakynit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tieyz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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Proud dad moment.

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaBarbaGuapa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mediashiznaks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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Gottemm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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What pan is the best to make sushi in?

Japan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Most-Stomach4240
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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so many choices
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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Well that didn't cross my mind
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonPetreasCoach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
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He knows too much
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato_salad123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." Concerned, she asked, "Which doctor?"

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigus-_-dickus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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3.14159265387279 snek
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2021
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I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/motherduck5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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Rock bottom
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theo19555
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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I never really understood why it was spelled: camouflage

and not:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"

That was the punchline

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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I threw up in the toilet
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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My Mexican friend takes anti-anxiety medication

It’s for Hispanic attacks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monolocomotive
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Hot
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexxFruit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
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Had a good chuckle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LittleBigOwl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2021
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Saw this on insta @PunHubOnline
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haidi7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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At what point does it stop being grave robbing and start being archaeology?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unholy_Jer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
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Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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Well Rounded Pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpivLife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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So my dad just died because he needed blood and we didn’t know his blood type.

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BritishTeeth11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
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Air and space museum
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romroming
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Which one is it?
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, β€œI’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

He said, β€œChange the batteries in your hearing aid”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BritishTeeth11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
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