Samantics
Turns out I'm a little short for a stormtrooper.
But backwards it’s even more stupid.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
...my optometrist just told me that I'm very farce-sighted.
every single year
But I called her Bluff.
Luckily he arrived at the last second and named him Justin Time
I said lovingly to my fiancé (and really great dad to his daughter).
His reply, "I wonder if the first person was just...diculous".
I get to live with a dad joke machine.
There's absolutely no point to it.
It wouldn't make any scents!
But there really is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise
Edit: place to plate, credit to /u/wonderquads
"Well, listen grandad, you just popped over, I didn't invite you".
But we all know swine flu
Me: "You mean reduckulous..."
Don't listen to her, she's just ex-aggerating.
It's only January and they already have their Christmas decorations up.
Toilets don't grow on trees.
Seriously, it was pre-pasta-rous!
I told her she's ridicumore.
A few years ago, my dad and I were building an addition onto his house. He rented a tool from the hardware store and had to return it, so he asked me to come with him and we would get some breakfast. There was a Burger King nearby, so we decided to stop there to eat.
When we go to the drive-through, we realize the restaurant was closed down, so he drove around the building to get back on the highway. As we were passing the dumpsters, he stopped the car, backed it up, and pointed towards the ground near the dumpster. I looked for a few seconds, trying to see what he was pointing at.
Then... I saw it.
It was a giant, 12+ inch black dildo, standing upright next to the dumpster. It propped itself up on its fake dildo balls, gently swaying in the breeze.
I was astonished. I couldn't even imagine what events in the universe had to line-up so as to end up with that giant dildo meticulously placed next to the dumpster at a closed-down Burger King. I couldn't even begin to fathom why it was there.
My dad, with perfect timing, then shouted "GAY TIMES WILL BE HAD TONIGHT!" and sped out of the parking lot.
We ended up going to Denny's.
But backwards it’s even more stupid.
But backwards it’s even more stupid...
...but backwards, it’s even more stupid…
