I wanted to reuse my monk costume to play Gandalf

but I found out old habits dye hard.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/windral
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
🚨︎ report
When I die, I want to go out peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...

Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the reused cloth label group?

They are the real rag tag team.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruminino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If you really think about it condoms are just sonblock.
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theKidWithCam
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?

Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Teenage Mutant Ninja Puns

Teenage Mutant Ninja Puns

Me: Hey, have you seen the last east episode of TMNT?

Friend: Yeah, I have! It was turtally awesome!

Me: ...Are you seriously gonna keep reusing that one, or should I expect something new? You’ve been using that one for awhile.

Friend: Oh, I’m sorry, do you want me to shell out some more puns? I’ve got a million of 'em, folks! I’ll be here all week!

Me: sighs in exasperation

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WTFBOOOMSH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Check out this tailgater acting like he's all that.

http://i.imgur.com//uwSE0DV.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/huntsman1230
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2015
🚨︎ report
How do you clean cloth nappies (diapers)?

Boil the shit out of them.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
🚨︎ report
If /puns were to host a fence building party according to the rules...

(This is more parody/satire than a pun, but I tried to make sure it had puns.)

  1. No more than half the people attending can wear trucker hats.

  2. The fences must be measured and spaced using meters. It doesn't matter if you're putting them in someone's yard.

  3. If you pull up a fence post, you cannot reuse it. In fact, you cannot use recycled posts from other people's yards.

  4. Don't keep up with the Jones'. But if you can't avoid this, make sure you give the Jones' the credit due for coming up with it first.

  5. You can bring lunch as sort of a potluck affair, but do not bring canned meat products from Hormel.

  6. If you bring a fence post, it must look like a fence post. If it might be confused with something else, make sure the box or protective wrapping calls it a fence post.

  7. When announcing the event, you are not allowed to make references to punch or people getting in line for punch. Just like Fight Club...

For now, we have no rule about promoting one stock car event over another as you work, or discussing other controversial matters. That won't change as long as you don't abuse this. Please keep your fence posts in good taste and suitable for all audiences. But if you do bring risque fence posts, make sure to cover them with a shroud labeled adult only, and I won't pull them up, provided the other rules are followed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do the same jokes always get recycled on r/dadjokes?

Because we’ve already reduced and reused them.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/persian2002
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of jokes does a baker make?

Honeypuns.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dixie_Vicious
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.


The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.


If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”


Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!


How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.


What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O too” β€” and he died.


A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.


Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your β€œstyle.”


I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.


I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.


Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.


Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.


Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.


What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!


A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies β€œFor you, no charge”.


Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: β€œOh, no, I think I lost an electron.” β€œAre you sure?”

β€œYe

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Condoms

Dad: Did you know you can reuse condoms? Me: No Dad: Yeah... You just shake the fuck out of them.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Texas0324
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.