I’m addicted to abusing nuns, I just can’t not hit them, the only thing that’s worked for me is redirecting it to somebody else.

I’m trying really hard to kick the abbot

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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🎢Super duper🎢 (Originally posted this to technicallythetruth, was redirected here.)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeonneRose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Why did the T-Rex need to borrow some cash?

Because he couldn’t liquidate any assets.

Oh? You thought it was because he was short-handed? Wow. That’s what you get for assuming.

((My wife gets annoyed because when I ask a lighthearted question I always multiple replies ready to go; so, if she gets it right the first time I just redirect with a different reply. Keepin’ her on her toes!))

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCVisNih
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Why do they call it one direction?

Because they all left

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divydation
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Last joke of my grandpa

We were seeing him in the hospital for the last time with our family and at some point my aunt asked who of us want coffee. We counted coffee drinkers among us and my aunt said "Ok, I'll bring a full tray"

My grandpa lifted his head for the last time and said "rather bring that in a cup, it's so hard to drink from the tray"

He was amazing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/regardos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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Cyanide and Happiness #3897, thought it may be appreciated here [xpost /r/cyanideandhappiness]

http://explosm.net/comics/3897/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shroomenheimer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2015
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Why aren't iPhone chargers or batteries called "apple juice"?

Was redirected from r/nostupidquestions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edp221
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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First dinner out with our son

My wife and I went out for dinner with our 5 week old son. A group of grandparents (no relation) were expressing their admiration and asked my wife how old he is. "26" I answer, receiving a knowing smile from the grand dads and groans from everyone else.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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Took my daughter swimming and there was a group of deaf people signing to each other on the pool.

My daughter was quite curious/interested in their use of sign language and was staring. I redirected her and told her it was not polite to stare.

She asked me "but why can't I watch"?

I replied:

"Because they might hear you"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiderspawnx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
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