Rectal douching Puns

interested in the flora and fauna of the rectum? read from the start, then ... you can also just skip forward to the recommendations at the end for safe practice (basically, use a bulb with tap water and take it easy...)

I [18/F] enjoy anal sex with my partner and personal play with a plug, but am fairly squeamish when it comes to bits of feces. I have only douched a few times, and am a bit concerned about its safety. There's lots of conflicting information out there.

Is it safe to use an ~8oz bulb full of warm water to cleanse my rectum prior to anal sex? I would not do it more than once or twice a week and never hold the water in for more than a few seconds.

Additionally, regardless of whether I douche, how important is it that my partner wear a condom? We are both monogamous and have been tested but are somewhat concerned about bacteria and such.

Hi everyone, I hope you're doing well!

I've started making my own toys now for about two months now, and I'm having a bit of trouble with marketing them to my potential customers.

For context: I created this toy as a way to prepare for bottoming (since douching felt like a bottom, and apparently it can increase your risk of transmission for diseases as well it being bad for your rectal flora), it's entirely made of silicone and it's shaped in a way that it picks up "matter" as it moves out of the rectum. Product testers did say it made them feel fresher, but they also said it was pleasurable and "a unique sensation".

I'm divided on marketing it as a sex toy or sexual wellness product, it seems to me that marketing it as a sex toy relies more on pleasing while a sexual wellness product relies more on the health benefit of the toy. I don't have any intention of getting the toy classified as medical device, since it's really expensive so I intend on keeping it classified as an adult novelty.

It’s been difficult for me to get bites on people that can show their interest in my product, so I’d like to hear your words of wisdom! Thank you

Edit: It is meant to be used in the shower, and the product is made of silicone so cleaning it is not too difficult (according to testers at least)

So we are closing on this Sex-mas series with two days left and Reddit glitching! I wanted to take about one of the most important concepts surrounding sex, and that is sexual protection and contraception.

I'm sure all of you have heard of condoms. Maybe one of you found a condom as a kid, took it out of the wrapper thinking it was a ballon - then tried to blow it up and found it challenging to do so. Nobody else had that experience? ^(***crickets***) I guess it was just me. :S

Preparing to have sex for the first time can be exciting and scary. Here's everything you need to know about contraception methods and safer sex.

Communication is key

Be honest about your sexual past, I'mreferences, and your decision to practice safe sex. This way, you and your partner can communicate openly. The two of you must share your sexual histories so that you can find out about potential STIs or diseases. Some STIs are not curable; you will want protection to prevent receiving any incurable STIs from a partner. Also, discussing your past opens up the path to testing for STIs. Check out Safe Sex Myths!

It might seem like trite advice, but the best way to prevent pregnancy and lower your risk of getting an STI is to use barrier protection correctly every time you have a sexual encounter.

Contraception is a method to avoid pregnancy. Sometimes it's called birth control or protection. Pregnancy occurs when a sperm fertilizes an egg. Contraception is meant to prevent this from happening in one of several ways.

While all contraception is intended to prevent pregnancy, not all methods of contraception protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Condoms are the only form of contraception that can protect you and your partner from STIs, so it's essential to use them even if you're using another form of birth control, unless you're in a trusted, committed monogamous relationship and have both been screened for STIs.

One of the most frequently asked questions about losing your virginity is, "Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?" The answer is yes; even [your first time](https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/sex/sexual-

I 18m and my gf 18f gonna be trying anal for the first time any tips or no nos?

My partner is rather seriously endowed and I have no issues taking him to the fullest extent. However even after I’ve religiously douched and have CHECKED with a toy to ensure Im as clean as I can get- I still have slight mess when he really goes to town.

I take Pure for Men daily (two in the afternoon two before bed), and am quite thorough when I clean but sometimes it just happens as he’s so large. Additionally he has a personal issue with “bodily substances” so it usually equates to a full stop of our sexy time if it happens. Not in a rude way at all, but its quite frustrating as I WANT to be able to not worry about mess and let him enjoy himself.

I know douching really only cleans the initial rectal area (about 4-5”) primarily and he definitely hits the second hole- if Im planning on messing around with him in advance should I use an enema the day before I go over to his place and then douche the day of?

Advice please! 😩

Do your worst!

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Buenosdillas

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Hi gay bros, I'm extremely frustrated and I need your help.

I've been douching for the longest time trying to get to know the ropes for when the time's right. It's always a tedious procedure from what I've experienced due to many reasons such as having to make sure to get all the water out and having no visible way to judge the situation down under.

But by far the most difficult thing for me is making sure that I don't overdo it by spraying water into the sigmoid colon beyond the rectosigmoid junction. I only know these terms because they're often used on lists for anal tips, where they're saying that you shouldn't douche past that section.

I use my shower hose to douche by setting the water to just colder than lukewarm on a weak stream and douching standing up because they say that you can prevent overdouching like that. Should I invest in a douching bulb instead? If so, then what would be the right way to douche with it? I'm always referring to the quicker douche that doesn't cleanse the entire colon but rather just the rectum. What usually happens is the following: I start squirting some water inside my butt and after I've let it inside for some seconds, I let it out. At some point I might go beyond because usually my first runs are running completely clear. I also want to make sure though that I'm not underdoing it either. This is in my experience the point where I mess up bc that's when the water starts to turn brown and then I really cannot get it to clear up.

I have yet to find a source that doesn't completely dismiss the difficulty of not douching past the rectosigmoid junction because there is, from my experience, truly no way to know whether you've douched too far unless you go ahead and try to have a go at it with your partner. I haven't had an accident happen to me because I haven't bottomed yet. My most recent sexual partner though had this happen to him as we were having anal and I could that tell the light brownish streaks on my penis were not poop but rather dirty douche-water. I handled the whole situation very carefully and helped him through his moment because he didn't know that this could happen and was reassured of it by his previous experiences, which were all successful.

This has also confirmed my personal insecurities regarding this issue. I really do not want to have an accident like that my first time bottoming for someone. I know that I'm not supposed to feel ashamed and stuff because things like that are in the cards when

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

EDIT: So, I'm also going to stop posting when I'm half asleep before work. I forgot the [RE-POST] in my title. My bad. This is my repost for the month.

NOTE: This story was originally posted as "PFC BikerJedi gets sick as hell" but I realized I hadn't been promoted to PFC until after I left Ft. Bliss and got sent to Korea.

Before I tell you this story, I want to state for the record the following:

• I am well aware that our armed forces, including the Army, produces many fine medics and such.

• I am well aware that the vast majority of these personnel care a great deal for the soldiers/sailors/marines/airmen/coasties that they treat.

• This is not a story about those people. So if you are a medical type, don't get butthurt. It ain't about you, unless you are one of the douches I describe here.

When you join the military, one of the big benefits is free medical care. Sometimes is it pretty good, sometimes it is horribly bad and leads to tragedy, and most of the time it is so-so - just average care. If you want good medical care, I found out, that for the Army at least, E-4's and Warrant Officers are the best. That was my experience over four years anyway, YMMV. Stay away from NCO's and officers. Don't ask me why, but any time I saw an NCO or officer, I got shitty care. Maybe they are jaded.

Just an example of shitty care - I almost died during surgery on my foot. Yeah - my foot. I mentioned this in another story, but this bears repeating so you understand how outrageous this whole thing I'm about to tell you about was. After I broke my foot in Saudi Arabia, two days before we left Desert Storm to go home mind you, they determined I needed surgery. So my unit went home and I got to stay in a MASH hospital in Saudi Arabia for a couple extra weeks. Nice. I was very nervous, this being my first surgery and all. Prior to going under, I was chatting with the O-4 anesthesiologist. She told me "Don't worry. I'm stationed at Ft. Bliss just like you! I'll make sure you are OK and that we take good care of you."

I wasn't OK. I woke up part way through the surgery, I think due to my alcohol tolerance, but it could have been because she fucked up. Regardless, I woke up, saw them messing around with my foot, and rolled my head to the side. There I saw a giant purple dragon coming out of the wall. I freaked out and started trying to climb off of the operating table. The surgeon started screaming at people. I get pinned down, while thrashing wildly, and the

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved