Before my exam, the proctologist gave me an ice-water enema.

He said it was a coolin-off-scopy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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If a doctor ever prescribed me an enema...

I’d tell him to shove it!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Campagnolo412
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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I'm in the business of colourful enemas

It's a real paint in the ass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeting
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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I work at a veterinary clinic, and we had to give a cat an enema

As the tech was anesthetizing the cat, the vet said, "Let's get this potty started!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tiranon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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My friends love scaring the shit out of me.

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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An anthropologist was cataloging south american folk remedies with the assistance a local tribal elder who indicated the leaves of a particular fern were the best cure for constipation. The anthropologist had doubts.

But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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Just stopped at the liquor store in Corydon, IN called β€˜Butt Drugs’

I told the clerk I’d like to try some of their finest beers and that I’d put enema order soon

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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My friend put a bunch of laxatives into my food without me knowing.

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpep0469
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What was the number one drug prescribed by psychiatrists in 2020?

Enemas, people needed to just let some shit go.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrono_bound20xx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Autocorrect...

It's my worst enema.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Interesting decision

Can’t decide whether I want to try enemas.

Like to call this feeling a dilenema.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMenace15287
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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If the government were to pass out free laxatives...

...would that make them enemas of the state?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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I walked into my proctologist's office to find him holding a pressure washer.

I told him "today you've made a powerful enema."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Really constipated people tend to keep their friends close...

...and their enemas even closer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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I thought /r/puns might enjoy these

A couple puns.

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."


There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).

edit: just a bit of formatting showing difference from one pun the other

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-REDDlT-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2012
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My first joke- the day my daughter was born

My wife was complaining of constipation- when in reality she was in labor. "Can you pick me up an enema or suppository?"

Without skipping a beat, I said "of course- sit tight!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Victorious10
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
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My Grandpa Called Yesterday

I answered the phone to:

"Hello, this is Doctor [Redacted], I was calling to speak with Lyssa_Ray."

"Hello Grandpa..."

"Yes, we wanted to follow up with you regarding your enema; did you want a cold water enema or a hot water enema?"

"I don't want any enemas!"

"Well, Lyssa_Ray, in this life we do not always get what we want, or even what we need, sometimes all we get is a pain in the butt."

Sigh...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lyssa_Ray
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
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With my friend's dad

So my friend and I are on vacation, on our way back to our hotel my friend starts complaining about the galaxy s5's autocorrect.

His dad turns around and says, "I know, it's my mortal enema."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FusRoBlah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2014
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My friends love scaring the crap out of me

With friends like that who needs enemas?

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tumalditamadre
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report

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