Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.

Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yoohao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
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What sort of gate is hygienic?

Colgate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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Proper Hygiene
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlappyComics
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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No... I said HYGIENE
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Kerosun-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started. I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you..."

"...have plaque on your wall?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 21
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What to you call a gentleman with bad hygiene that loves to tell puns?

Pungent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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"Uh yeah I'm walking around your store barefoot and creating a hygiene problem, Mr.foot locker employee."

So shoe me!

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Me: "Be good with oral hygiene. Buying new teeth is really expensive."

Dad: "False."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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I always say to my dirty friend Gene, β€œhygiene”

For some reason he always says hi back

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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Someone who demonstrates proper hygiene...

Is a shower shower.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blickhill17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.

Now all I need is a toothbrush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Our local store had a problem with people stealing their feminine hygiene products,

so they installed a padlock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exposed_dancer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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What US State has the best dental hygiene?

Fluoride-a!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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The cleanest way to greet a member of the band Kiss

Is to say β€œHygiene!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
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Because Ghandi was barefoot all the time and had bad hygiene...

He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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Circumcision Puns Aren't Funny

My wife gave birth to our first son on Friday. This morning they came to get him for his circumscion and we were feeding him a bottle. The nurse said we were going to have to cut it short. I said ok, but not too short. And nobody laughed. They looked at me like an idiot. Hopefully the internet will appreciate this.

EDIT: Didn't expect this to garner so much attention, but I guess it deserves some elaboration. Yes, this actually happened and we had our son circumcised. Everything went well without any complications. I made this decision with my wife based on hygienic, traditional, and aesthetic reasons, and I am confident in my decision. I am circumcised, and I'm happy with it.

There are times in my son's life that i will need to make decisions for him, and this was one of those times. I understand that some people think I have committed a terrible crime against my son, but I disagree. There are many arguments for both sides, and I think these decisions should be made by family and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oemus2776
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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What do you get after playing a lute for 10 hours straight?

Minstrel cramps.

Edit: (I'm sorry. Feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humor. Period.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MookieV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I visited some Welsh people and they had a leak in their toilet.

I'm sure it would be more hygienic to cook it on the stove.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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What did the bar of soap say to the dirty boy?

"Hygiene"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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A family that sticks together...

should work on their personal hygiene

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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What did the clean DNA say to the dirty DNA?

Hygiene!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Battlealvin2009
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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John the Baptist

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edpeters1
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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What's a dentist's favorite hymn?

Crown Him With Many Crowns

(credit to my dad for his amazing sense of humor and terrible dental hygiene)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mandjari
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
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