Porsche Puns

I don’t have a Porche in my garage

The position of the dirtbag

And he’s fun to mess with.

The other day we drove by a super dusty Porsche in the parking garage at our apartment.

He sadly says “I feel bad for that Porsche”

I responded “what’s a sha?”

So I went to my neighbour, who was an old lady. I said to her : Would you like some help around the house

She said : Oh yes, you can paint my porch

I came back to her 2 hours later and then said: Well, I’m done, but just to let you know, it’s a BMW, not a Porsche.

It was a Porsche' on my porch.

"So there is pontiac. Porsche. Packard.. You know what a Packard is, dont ya? Or is that a little before your time? How old are you? So you know what it is then, right?" So he sets up the joke incorrectly by not giving me a chance to name any. But to him, this joke is SO funny, there is no way to make it unfunny. ".. well none of them because they all start with gas." Then he turns and acts like he is about to walk out of the store, like he dropped the proverbial mic. So I feign a half smile & say "yep. Gas. Thats a good one."

Radio Jockey Randy : Okay caller, here is the final question for $5,000 cash.

Contestant : I’m ready, Randy!

Radio Jockey Randy : Name three automobiles that start with ‘P’.

Contestant : Uh ... Porsche, Pontiac and Plymouth!

Radio Jockey Randy : Oh, I’m sorry contestant, those all start with GAS!

What is the difference between a porcupine and a middle aged man in a Porsche?

A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

One of the many my dad got me with when I was a kid;

I was always fascinated with cars and overheard someone say that he liked Subarus because of the "boxer" engine. Later I asked dad what that was, and he said it was because they used the engine out of the Porsche Boxter.

For many years I argued with my friends that Subarus must be really fast because of their Porsche motors.

The winner of this contest would receive a brand new Porsche, so a man got down to it and came up with the 10 best puns he could. He submitted the first, the second, and so on till he had entered them all in the contest. Alas none of his puns won the competition, no pun in ten did.