Two coats hung next to eachother at a Burlington coat factory. One said to the other, "Can you beleive I'm 100% polyester?"

The other said, "I could be suede."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/GOduOfTheNorth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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Polyester clothing was not and is not fashionable.

I guess it never cotton.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/veryslowclapper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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I got a joke about polyester...

It’s great material.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/brykayne
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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A conversation about women

I was hanging out with my dad at a 4th of July barbeque. One of the guys there said, "women should be seen and not heard." The guy next to him smirked and said, "women should be felt and not seen." My dad said, "women should be polyester, not felt."

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kudokara
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2017
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Friends dad asked if my jacket is felt

I said "actually its polyester"

Then he put his hand on my shoulder and said "it is now!"

God damn it

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Got my girlfriend

My girlfriend is buying a cover for our couch, and trying to decide between several options.

"What does polyester feel like?"

"How should I know? I've never met her."

Exasperated sighs are sustenance.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/faceofuzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
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Someone asked if my jacket is felt

I said "its actually polyester"

He then put his hand on my shoulder and said.

"it is now!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
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