There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual

It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2021
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My friend, who's an aspiring comedian, asked me if I thought his jokes were too plain...

I answered: "Quite the opposite. I think they're hill areas."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SimonSkarum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2021
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After a lecture, a theoretical physicist is asked, "Can you explain what you just said in plain English?"

To which he replied, "It's in the field of possibilities."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyDumbHumor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2021
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One cat sees another cat eating a hot dog PLAIN, and says

"Hey Cat, 'sup?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2021
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You know what tops a plain pizza?

Nothing!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/winnt7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2021
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What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?

Stationary.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Seven_Arcadian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
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I say it Air-plainly...I'm bad at pun titles. imgur.com/gIW2LkM
πŸ‘οΈŽ 241
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/unsanemaker
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2020
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Plain little pun

Why did the guy with gluten allergy skip leg day?

'Cause he couldn't train his glutes!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VectorV96
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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Adjective for metal is metallic

But not so for iron which is ironic

πŸ‘οΈŽ 175
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aryanpixel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2021
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Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.

The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.

It was a ham bush

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MafiaCub
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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I like large animals, but hippos are just plain fat

Some people may consider this hippo-critical

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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Just plain old frost bite ❄️
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/angelinajolieismydad
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2020
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Plain pizzas are the best

They simply can’t be topped

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Majin_Buu22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
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What type of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel!

Credit to my 8 year old, I'm raising him right.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 201
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/regiinmontana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

I think it may be terminal

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
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What type of flour is sold at airports?

Plain

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tome869
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2021
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I don't know if this is a Dad joke or just plain appalling...

I was in the kitchen with John Lennon about to do the dishes and I turned to him and said:

"Right John, I've got my washing up basin, sponges, hot water, the dishes themselves of course...is that it am I ready to go? Do I need anything else?"

And John turned to me and said-

>!"All you need is glove!<

>!All you need is glove,!<

>!All you need is glove,glove!<

>!Glove is all you need"!<

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WeeHootieMctoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2020
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A plain cut
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DragonDrawer14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Plain pizza
πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2019
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An old man placed an order for one hamburger, french fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously, they were thinking, "That poor old couple...all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.

The old man said, they were just fine, they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.

She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered, "THE TEETH!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 108
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2019
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A Plain Bun and a Vanilla cream Bun goes to the cinema

During the sad movie, the Vanilla cream Bun cried while the Plain Bun did not... Why?

  • Cause the Vanilla cream Bun had fillings~

The Vanilla cream Bun went to the cinema again but this time with the Chocolate cream Bun. However, the Chocolate cream Bun cried but not the Vanilla cream Bun... Why?

  • Cause the buns has different fillings~
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/M0oomo00
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2019
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just a plain cut
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sileoujxjx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2019
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What do you call a flying bagel?

A plain bagel. πŸ₯―

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yafaveartskoolflunkE
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
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They say that my jokes are just plain stupid but
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notunclejosh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2019
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Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.

It's only a phase, after all.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2019
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A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father

is this a dad joke? No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.

Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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An Englishman took a train through the Nullarbor plain...

...he found it a bit pointless.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Onechordbassist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2019
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Turns out butter makes plain toast better…

…but only margarine-ally so.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/diplomaticDeveloper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2019
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You can say plain sailing, but you can't say boat flying.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CMDRShamx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2019
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Decided to make a new stripe club today

We only play β€œHey There Delilah”. The club will called the Plain White Tease.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Might-Aromatic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A little plain humor
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThatsDoom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2018
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I want to make a joke about plains

But every time I do they fall flat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bolacola
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Just a picture of a plain street sign
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shroomley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2018
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I once knew a guy who was a pilot but he wasn't very bright.

All of his friends called him plain stupid.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrazyArmy2019
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual

It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain pizza
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lumikue
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain hotdog
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain pizza
πŸ‘οΈŽ 85
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CowSensei
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StupidDonkeyFace
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is plain pizza the best pizza?

Because nothing tops it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FuzzySparrow
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dan-Quixote
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain hotdog.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CommunistMemifesto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain Hot Dog.

Nothing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yokotron
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/opethlike
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report

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