There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual

It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend, who's an aspiring comedian, asked me if I thought his jokes were too plain...

I answered: "Quite the opposite. I think they're hill areas."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SimonSkarum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
After a lecture, a theoretical physicist is asked, "Can you explain what you just said in plain English?"

To which he replied, "It's in the field of possibilities."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDumbHumor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
One cat sees another cat eating a hot dog PLAIN, and says

"Hey Cat, 'sup?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
You know what tops a plain pizza?

Nothing!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/winnt7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?

Stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Seven_Arcadian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I say it Air-plainly...I'm bad at pun titles. imgur.com/gIW2LkM
πŸ‘︎ 241
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unsanemaker
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Plain little pun

Why did the guy with gluten allergy skip leg day?

'Cause he couldn't train his glutes!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VectorV96
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Adjective for metal is metallic

But not so for iron which is ironic

πŸ‘︎ 175
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aryanpixel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.

The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.

It was a ham bush

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MafiaCub
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I like large animals, but hippos are just plain fat

Some people may consider this hippo-critical

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Just plain old frost bite ❄️
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Plain pizzas are the best

They simply can’t be topped

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Majin_Buu22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel!

Credit to my 8 year old, I'm raising him right.

πŸ‘︎ 201
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/regiinmontana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

I think it may be terminal

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of flour is sold at airports?

Plain

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tome869
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't know if this is a Dad joke or just plain appalling...

I was in the kitchen with John Lennon about to do the dishes and I turned to him and said:

"Right John, I've got my washing up basin, sponges, hot water, the dishes themselves of course...is that it am I ready to go? Do I need anything else?"

And John turned to me and said-

>!"All you need is glove!<

>!All you need is glove,!<

>!All you need is glove,glove!<

>!Glove is all you need"!<

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WeeHootieMctoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A plain cut
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonDrawer14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Plain pizza
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
An old man placed an order for one hamburger, french fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously, they were thinking, "That poor old couple...all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.

The old man said, they were just fine, they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.

She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered, "THE TEETH!"

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A Plain Bun and a Vanilla cream Bun goes to the cinema

During the sad movie, the Vanilla cream Bun cried while the Plain Bun did not... Why?

  • Cause the Vanilla cream Bun had fillings~

The Vanilla cream Bun went to the cinema again but this time with the Chocolate cream Bun. However, the Chocolate cream Bun cried but not the Vanilla cream Bun... Why?

  • Cause the buns has different fillings~
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/M0oomo00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
just a plain cut
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sileoujxjx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a flying bagel?

A plain bagel. πŸ₯―

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
They say that my jokes are just plain stupid but
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notunclejosh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.

It's only a phase, after all.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father

is this a dad joke? No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.

Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
An Englishman took a train through the Nullarbor plain...

...he found it a bit pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onechordbassist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Turns out butter makes plain toast better…

…but only margarine-ally so.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
You can say plain sailing, but you can't say boat flying.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDRShamx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Decided to make a new stripe club today

We only play β€œHey There Delilah”. The club will called the Plain White Tease.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Might-Aromatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A little plain humor
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatsDoom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I want to make a joke about plains

But every time I do they fall flat.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bolacola
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Just a picture of a plain street sign
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shroomley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I once knew a guy who was a pilot but he wasn't very bright.

All of his friends called him plain stupid.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyArmy2019
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual

It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain pizza
πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lumikue
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain hotdog
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain pizza
πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CowSensei
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidDonkeyFace
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is plain pizza the best pizza?

Because nothing tops it

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FuzzySparrow
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan-Quixote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain hotdog.
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain Hot Dog.

Nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yokotron
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/opethlike
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.