Ever since I got this hair treatment, people say I've become very arrogant..

I guess the hairplugs went straight to my head..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Do you know why Russian dolls are so arrogant?

Because they are full of themselves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipoca-queimada
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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I once knew an arrogant sponge

He was very self absorbed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Did you hear about the arrogant cannibal who started eating himself?

He was so full of himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.

He was consumed by pride.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people?

Egos everywhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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I hate arrogant pants.

They're so khaki

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doc283
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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I tried to take my arrogant horse for a walk this summer, but it resisted.

It thought it was too hot to trot.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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Mountain climbers are so arrogant...

...They think the whole world is beneath them.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2016
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Why are Americans so arrogant?

Because their national bird is the ego!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iZacAsimov
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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What do you call an Arrogant Ballsack?

An Egotesticle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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That roofer is so damn arrogant.

He's always looking down at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angry10
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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Did anyone else hear about that arrogant felon that jumped to his death?

For a few moments, he was a descending condescending con.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jofax88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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What do you call an arrogant criminal running down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/podsyboy121
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
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People think Gaston was just an arrogant goon

But he actually won a no-Belle prize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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What do you call a cocky archer?

Arrowgant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrsilbert1
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2015
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I saw a Hobo Spider on the pavement.

Cheeky little guy, he didn't even accept my Β£10 note.

Walked right over it, I can't stand that level of arrogance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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[META] A plea for real dad jokes.

EDIT: I somehow JUST saw the Mod Sticky post from last week, where a lot of users have expressed similar sentiments to these. I apologize to the mods if this is not appropriate and respect your decision if you want to delete it. I just wanted to see if people were thinking the same kind of thing. Still, read it if ya like.

It used to be that /r/dadjokes was a place to post actual stories of real dad humor. 'My dad pulled out this groaner at dinner.' 'Just became a dad...I think I get it now!' These are the things that warm my heart and tickle my corny bone. And I don't think I'm alone.

Now, we're arrogant enough to think we know the formula for dad humor, so we can post anything reminiscent of it, and it counts as a dad joke. It's as if we think we own dad humor now, and we can bend it and shape it at will.

Let me tell you, folks. WE DO NOT OWN DAD HUMOR.

Even the dads among us don't own it. I think the universe just channels it through them in brilliant, glorious, involuntary sneezes. Some are more deft than others, and are seen by the universe as more worthy outlets. But they do not own it.

We can get close to elusive heart of dad humor, we can approach it, we can dance around it...but we can never touch it. This is where I take issue with posts like this one, which currently has over 4000 upvotes and 2000 net karma. Is it reminiscent of dad-like punly-ness? Would a dad chortle heartily at reading it? Yes, almost certainly yes. But does that make it a dad joke? No...I would argue not.

Dad jokes are also not just about the jokes themselves. They're about the response--that he manages to be surprised at his own genius, even on the eightieth repetition. They're about the face-palms and straight stares of family members. What is a dad joke without context?

My proposed solution: ban link/image posts. I wish it wouldn't have to come to that, but I can't see another way to get back on track to the real goal here. I have hover zoom--I understand the desire for instant gratification. I've skipped over interesting looking videos because they required a click.

But that's not why I come here.

I understand that there are legitimate dad jokes transmitted via text, or perhaps requiring a bit of visual context. At this point, though, I think they are a necessary sacrifice for a righteous cause. They can always be transcribed into text, or included in a self-post. Maybe it seems a bit extreme, especially in the face

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlapYourHands
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2013
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What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krosenoise
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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