My brother was pissed when he saw I mated his wife

He bet $100 I would lose that chess match.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
why was the cow pissed with the tractor in a race ?

cause it was mooving faster than it

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/newdudeonblock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is pissed at me. I made hard boiled eggs for breakfast this morning and let our 2 year old help peel them and he made a mess

I have been walking on eggshells ever since.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MehWebDev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Dav is pissed
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Pissed off
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_MeJohnNL
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Mario’s gonna be pissed again

When he finds out trumps impeach again

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/totallynotabagel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I was pissed when I lost my job at the horse ranch

I was told it would be stable.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IshruggedItOff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
All my crabs were pissed at me after I told them I must cook and eat them...

They were steamed!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...

I left my phone in Airplane mode

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I remarried, and my new wife is pissed because of my poor navigation skills

She said our relationship wasn't going anywhere

Edit : She just packed her bag and right

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chennai_buzzer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. β€œHow do you know if the dog was dead?” She asked the boy. β€œI know because I pissed in his ear.” The teacher looked horrified. β€œWhat do you mean you pissed in his ear??”

β€˜I went up to him and went β€œPssstt!” in his ear and he didn’t move.’

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Commment
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
This dude got really pissed at me for drawing a gun on him today

He said he's seen better and asked me to draw it again.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidCFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me

Not my fault they don't have Windows

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Our amputee friend was pissed when we hid his prosthetic arm...

He didn't find it humerus

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siKing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was really pissed when I told her I spent $1,000 on a new wallet......

I told her not to worry I’ll definitely get my money out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 523
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marwoh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
When you drink beer you get pissed.

When you pee the next day, the beer gets pissed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was King Arthur pissed at Queen Guinevere?

She asked Sir Lancelot to Cumalot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stonecharioteer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Kinda pissed, think I'm gonna dip.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSameSon23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I was pissed off at my buddy Mark who borrowed my dictionary and refuses to return it.

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘︎ 357
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Kid: Dad, let me be frank.... and if you say, β€œHi Frank, I’m Dad”, I’m gonna be super pissed.

Dad: Gotcha, gonnabesuperpissed.

πŸ‘︎ 424
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pissed off redhead?

A gingersnap!

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mskatme0w
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
ive pissed and shit
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nws4c
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m really pissed that my friend stole my antique atlas.

It really means the world to me.

πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend got pissed and threw his joke book at me.

Luckily, I dodged it but all the jokes flew over my head.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_messiah
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why I was pissed off with the car salesman ?

He said he can make the sale but has zero percent interest

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vshesha
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I spotted both girls named Riya together in my office and both were pissed off as I greeted them together.

Apparently di-hi-riya was not an efficient way to say hi to both.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asian_despot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
If you rearrange the letters of β€œPostmen”. They get really pissed off.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was extremely pissed off by my poor sense of direction...

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buy_an_sel-l
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I showed my friend all the people waiting to hit me because I pissed them off.

"This is the punchline"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bright_Vision
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the pissed off student say when he handed in his english test?

"Mark my words!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkHawk242
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My neighbor pissed me off yesterday by playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over again.

It was all night long.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife is really pissed that I spent a lot of money to buy a make your own perfume kit.

But it just made scents to me.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I went fishing today and caught 36 bluegill, each a slabber in its own right! I got home and dumped em in the kitchen basin, to clean. My wife got pissed!

No one respects the panfish sink decision...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandpa is still pissed off at the Japanese for Pearl Harbor.

I had to tell him that it was the Americans who made that movie.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the detectives daughter always pissed at him?

He doesn’t have a clue

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pissed of sailor?

A pIRATE

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yetilock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Bill Gates: "Today I farted in an apple store and everybody was pissed.."

"Hey, its not my fault they don't have windows"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RubinKhadka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife is pissed that I got her a helium balloon for her birthday.

It didn’t go down very well.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I am pissed

Once a murderer walked into a urologist's office, took out a knife and pointed it at him

"What is the meaning of all this?" the doctor asked

"Urine trouble" the murderer replied

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porolok
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend is really pissed that I made fun of his lazy eye.

He is having a hard time looking at me.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm so pissed off I can barely see straight! I had an argument with this fucking mute and you know what he said to me?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeshaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Kid: I'm going to be frank with you, bu- and if you say "Hi Frank, I'm Dad!" I'm gonna be super pissed!

Okay, gonnabesuperpissed.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turtleturds_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
If you rearrange the letters of postmen, they'll get really pissed at you.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cjborange
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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