My brother was pissed when he saw I mated his wife
He bet $100 I would lose that chess match.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 15 2021
why was the cow pissed with the tractor in a race ?
cause it was mooving faster than it
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 19 2021
My wife is pissed at me. I made hard boiled eggs for breakfast this morning and let our 2 year old help peel them and he made a mess
I have been walking on eggshells ever since.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
Dav is pissed
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
Pissed off
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Marioβs gonna be pissed again
When he finds out trumps impeach again
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
I was pissed when I lost my job at the horse ranch
I was told it would be stable.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
All my crabs were pissed at me after I told them I must cook and eat them...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...
I left my phone in Airplane mode
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
I remarried, and my new wife is pissed because of my poor navigation skills
She said our relationship wasn't going anywhere
Edit : She just packed her bag and right
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. βHow do you know if the dog was dead?β She asked the boy. βI know because I pissed in his ear.β The teacher looked horrified. βWhat do you mean you pissed in his ear??β
βI went up to him and went βPssstt!β in his ear and he didnβt move.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
This dude got really pissed at me for drawing a gun on him today
He said he's seen better and asked me to draw it again.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 31 2020
I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me
Not my fault they don't have Windows
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 25 2020
Our amputee friend was pissed when we hid his prosthetic arm...
He didn't find it humerus
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
My wife was really pissed when I told her I spent $1,000 on a new wallet......
I told her not to worry Iβll definitely get my money out of it.
π︎ 523
π
︎ Jan 13 2019
When you drink beer you get pissed.
When you pee the next day, the beer gets pissed.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
Why was King Arthur pissed at Queen Guinevere?
She asked Sir Lancelot to Cumalot.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
Kinda pissed, think I'm gonna dip.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
I was pissed off at my buddy Mark who borrowed my dictionary and refuses to return it.
I said, βMark, my words!β
π︎ 357
π
︎ Nov 17 2018
Kid: Dad, let me be frank.... and if you say, βHi Frank, Iβm Dadβ, Iβm gonna be super pissed.
Dad: Gotcha, gonnabesuperpissed.
π︎ 424
π
︎ Nov 02 2018
What do you call a pissed off redhead?
π︎ 57
π
︎ Aug 16 2019
ive pissed and shit
π︎ 26
π
︎ May 23 2019
Iβm really pissed that my friend stole my antique atlas.
It really means the world to me.
π︎ 145
π
︎ Aug 23 2018
My friend got pissed and threw his joke book at me.
Luckily, I dodged it but all the jokes flew over my head.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
Do you know why I was pissed off with the car salesman ?
He said he can make the sale but has zero percent interest
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
I spotted both girls named Riya together in my office and both were pissed off as I greeted them together.
Apparently di-hi-riya was not an efficient way to say hi to both.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
If you rearrange the letters of βPostmenβ. They get really pissed off.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
My wife was extremely pissed off by my poor sense of direction...
So I packed up my stuff and right.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 01 2019
I showed my friend all the people waiting to hit me because I pissed them off.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
What did the pissed off student say when he handed in his english test?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 13 2019
My neighbor pissed me off yesterday by playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over again.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 12 2018
My wife is really pissed that I spent a lot of money to buy a make your own perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
I went fishing today and caught 36 bluegill, each a slabber in its own right! I got home and dumped em in the kitchen basin, to clean. My wife got pissed!
No one respects the panfish sink decision...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 03 2019
My grandpa is still pissed off at the Japanese for Pearl Harbor.
I had to tell him that it was the Americans who made that movie.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Nov 21 2018
Why was the detectives daughter always pissed at him?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 07 2019
What do you call a pissed of sailor?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 12 2019
Bill Gates: "Today I farted in an apple store and everybody was pissed.."
"Hey, its not my fault they don't have windows"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
My wife is pissed that I got her a helium balloon for her birthday.
It didnβt go down very well.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 09 2019
I am pissed
Once a murderer walked into a urologist's office, took out a knife and pointed it at him
"What is the meaning of all this?" the doctor asked
"Urine trouble" the murderer replied
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 27 2018
My friend is really pissed that I made fun of his lazy eye.
He is having a hard time looking at me.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 09 2018
I'm so pissed off I can barely see straight! I had an argument with this fucking mute and you know what he said to me?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 25 2018
Kid: I'm going to be frank with you, bu- and if you say "Hi Frank, I'm Dad!" I'm gonna be super pissed!
Okay, gonnabesuperpissed.
π︎ 78
π
︎ Nov 06 2018
If you rearrange the letters of postmen, they'll get really pissed at you.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 20 2019
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