I once went on a date that ended with me and the girl sleeping together. After sex she lit a cigarette and told me me all about her hobby: collecting roadkill and pinning it to her wall. Well, there's no way I could see her after that...

Smoking is such a turn off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slatersays22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My friend rolled the ball down the lane 10 times, knocking over all the pins each time!

It was a super bowl!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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My wife asked me today if I had seen the dog bowl.

I said no I didn’t know he could.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grind_n_brine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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What did the pin hole camera say when the SLR camera asked about it's aperature and exposure time when taking a picture?

Do I shutter?

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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I made a bear-y adorable pin badge <3 v.redd.it/z9vizkn75hv51
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/outrunbun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl

...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.

Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '

Thank you for the awards

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What type of music are balloons scared of?

Pop

πŸ‘︎ 236
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Pin this tweet.
πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimonCaine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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SPARE ME THE BOWLING PUNS
πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WestMatter41
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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What did the pin say to the baloon? I am the king of pop
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I made this little Honeymoon pin, get it? Honey- moon? hope you like it! (:
πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElTamagotchi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What did the Bowling Pin say when it was accused?

β€œI’ve been framed!”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerMan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Warning to all you dadjokers out there.

Keep it up and there may be punintended consequences.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreekieW
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Pin β€˜em down!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsureyoudo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Eradicate those pins!
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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A man entered a pun contest and said ten pins, hoping one would win...

Unfortunately no pun intended

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ducks_ARE_real
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Did you hear about the pasta sauce that was really good at knocking down pins?

It was a bowlin’ ace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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What do you do if someone throws a pin at you?

Run, they have a grenade in their mouth!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Savannah_P_Frost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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How do you put the pin back in a grenade ?

Quick answers PLEASE !

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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This is a Mary Pop-PIN
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TripleFourFilms
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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β€œBobby” Pin
πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frekkenstein
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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I used to be part of a ten pin league. Our team name was 'Bowl Movement' because we were shit...
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoghead
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What do they call a bobby pin in Russia?

Boris pin

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yesnomaybeok
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?

A preemptive strike.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Actual joke my Dad just said to me:

Me: Urgh, my foot has fallen asleep, I hate when that happens.

Dad: That’s annoying; now it’s not going to be able to get to sleep tonight!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zoe270101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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My friend has a cork board with a lot of pictures pinned to it...

It's really tacky.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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An old man was telling his friend about his new hearing aid, "the greatest in the world!" "You can hear a pin drop."

Friend: Wow! What kind is it?

Old man: quarter past 2.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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I pinned a Rolex to the post just outside my house

It's the neighborhood watch.

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Why was the soldier pinned down?

He was under a tack

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnotcreative29
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Disney’s pin-Nokia-oh
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeviousOstrich
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.

He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.

πŸ‘︎ 869
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Designed these punny animals to be made into pins and stickers :)
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/otterly__adorable
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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Have you heard the one about the pin?

Never mind, I forgot the point

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OHKING_RIVER
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Did you hear about the locksmith convention coming to town?

I hear they've got the keynote speaker locked up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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A Bobby Pin
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chopstix007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Just a Bobby pin
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brawl_Noob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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There's a circle of hell for pin humour
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bi0_B1lly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/polkadotmcgot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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A pin for those days when you just... nope.
πŸ‘︎ 582
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πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
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A classic (don't know if its been posted or not)
πŸ‘︎ 251
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haady_B
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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I was thinking about pins, then I thought..

If I were you, I'd be hilarious

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faraznaqvi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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I pity the fool who doesnt get this pun!!
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.

Shit. Wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
the puppy test

Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.

Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.

  1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
  2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
  3. Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet ??
  4. Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
  5. Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
  6. Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
  7. Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
  8. Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
  9. Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
  10. Jump out of your favorite chair just before the movie ends and run to open the back door
  11. Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
  12. Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
  13. Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs
  14. When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it.
  15. Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
  16. Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
  17. Always go straight home after work or school
  18. Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
  19. Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.”
  20. Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
    Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting a puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready for your kids to get your puppy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/specklesinc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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What did the inflatable teacher say at the inflatable school, to the inflatable student who was holding a pin?

You let me down, you let the school down, you let your friends down but most importantly, you let yourself down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vintage2000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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If the police pin someone to the ground, but they struggle to get away, do they become a...

?

rule 6 compliance section: >!It's an aluminum-shelled resistor. The person trying to escape would be a resistor, but would be put in a car, which are about 9 percent aluminum, if this shitty article I found online is to be believed: https://auto.howstuffworks.com/under-the-hood/auto-manufacturing/5-materials-used-in-auto-manufacturing3.htm the car would be the metal shell.!<

>!also I found online that walking at 5 km/h takes around 100W of energy, so I went with 200W because I figured trying to escape the police while prone probably takes around double the effort.!<

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirbykirby56
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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