Can I vote if I'm a pervert?

I don't want to come off as a tallywhacker?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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What’s a pervert’s favorite chore?

To do the dishes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Blobfish123_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Today on the bus, I caught an absolutely disgusting low lying old pervert watching Porn..........

.......Over my shoulder!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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My shower is such a pervert.

It gets turned on by every naked person it sees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkerhubbin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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How did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck to the chicken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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Why did the pervert run for office?

it gave him an election.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornealeus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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While watching "Pee Wee's Big Holiday", my wife recognized Pee Wee and asked "Isn't he a pervert or something?"

I told her.

"He was arrested for masturbating in an adult theater, but I think he got off."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobraCabana
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2016
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What do you call a perverted ghost?

Boobyman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brionac07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?

Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grizzlyblur
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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What did one step say to the perverted step?

Please stop stairing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gastro_destiny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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What did the perverted frog say?

β€œRubbit”

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
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I walked past some perverted frogs the other day.

They kept saying "rubit, rubit"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackSki25
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2017
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What goes in long and hard, then comes out soft and wet?

Pasta you pervert

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaklshakl
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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What did the perverted frog say?

Rub it, Rub it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamuelArthur1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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Why are birds so perverted?

They prefer to hang around seedy places.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2015
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There's a meteor shower tonight...

My friend told me "there's a meteor shower tonight you should watch!"

And I responded by saying

I'm not a pervert why don't you just let meteor shower in privacy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohhHerrro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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What's black and really huge?

Space you pervert!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...

I guess the pervert thinks of them as sex cymbals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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"What's the best smell in the world?"

Me: Dad, do you know what the best smell in the world is? Dad: what? Me: the smell of a dollar. Dad: do you know what smells even better? Me: what? Dad: two dollars.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2014
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I was barking up the wrong tree...

I was at work riding around with my coworker and buddy, he's married and already an old pervert at 29. We were driving down the interstate in traffic and looking at hot girls as we drive, we get into the far right lane, to where I have nothing but trees to my side. He says, "damn man that chick was hot" as a car passes by and I replied, "I ain't got any bitches but I've got a few birtches over here!" And cracked up. We work for a stump grinding company, this is an onion joke!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/junppu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2016
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Overheard this while picking up lunch today...

Bought some pizza slices and while I was filling up my drink from the soda fountain, there was a family of four talking about, of all things, medical professions. The daughter at the table said she thought a proctologist was basically a pervert since they'd be focused on butts all day every day.

The mom explained that you wouldn't call a heart surgeon who uses tools to literally crack open a person's chest cavity and muck around with things a serial killer, so why would you call a doctor who specializes in proctology a pervert?

The dad then chimed in "No that's not right... a serial killer is someone who uses Captain Crunch to murder another person!"

Silence at the table, and the daughter groaned rather loudly. I happened to make eye contact with the dad and just smirked and nodded, which made him beam, and walked out the door to hear him say "Right? Right guys?"

Well done, sir.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2015
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because chic can.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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