Paul McCartney Puns

Because it could only oscillate horizontally

Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...

He was banned on the run.

As he puts it,

"I get by with a little help from my hens."

"I get high with a little help from my hens."

Lennonade

He said, "I don't care too much for Monet. Monet can't buy me love."

Because he gave us wings.

...some people might mistake it for a cover of a Rolling Stones song.

I wanted to post this in /r/Showerthoughts but they have a rule against puns. :(

The Rolling Stones song I'm referring to is this one.

So my wife and eldest daughter are in the dining room and I’m in the kitchen. They are talking about parking a car at school, and getting the ticket that allows this from the office. I step into the room:

Me: “You guys are talking about a ticket to park?”

Kid: “Yeah”

Me: “But I thought Paul McCartney said it was a ticket to ride...”

Wife: “Shut up dear”

I look at the kid and point to my wife:

“She don’t care.....”

Paul McCartney gets a royalty check

"Hey son, have you ever seen Stevie Wonder play with Paul McCartney?" "No, Dad" "Neither has he!"

Commenting on Paul McCartney

"God that guitar player, he's going to go a long way, I got a feeling"

https://youtu.be/ytlqn8Da7bY?t=1m16s

Me: Stomping on beetle Dad: What are you doing over there? Me: Trying to kill this beetle. Dad: Which Beatle? John Lennon? Ringo Starr? Paul McCartney? Me: Haha no. stomping vigorously It's the stupid kind that doesn't DIE! Dad: ...Well we know it isn't Lennon.