My Gf just pointed out that pasteurization has become really effective this year

Our milk lasts the rest of this decade!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwarfWoot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How Did Louis Pasteur Know You Can Get Sick From Germs in the Mississippi?

He was a scholar of bayou chemistry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adhoc42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The doctor insisted I take a milk bath, so I asked her if it need to be pasteurized...

She said no, just above the knees.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spanky2222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?' he said...

'No, just up to your neck'

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fullmiz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Louis go to sleep.

It's Pasteur bedtime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jsradford
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?

Its pasteurized before you see it.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuckyClassicTho
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Pasteurize.

Too far to see.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImpulseValex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Is your water pasteurized?

Dad: Hey, do you think that pool water is pasteurized?

Me: Why would they pasteurize the pool water?

Dad: If you scoop some up in in your hands and splash it on your face then it would be past your eyes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crankindownhourly
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Pasteurized cheese

I work in the pizza department at a local grocery chain. While working my co-worker answered a call from a customer. Not sure of the answer to the customer's question he turns and asks me if the cheese we use is pasteurized.

My response of course: "Depends how high it's stacked."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slide_on_the_ice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad what "pasteurized" meant.

He responded with, "Its when something is really far away so its "past-your-eyes'd"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jElean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Sign language is Punny

'Pasteurized milk' in sign language is 'Milk' Past your eyes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sathuna
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you baptise a cow?

Pasteurized milk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohitszie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I love watching dairy products grow up

You get to watch their lives flash pasteurize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/irbinator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you calling it when your in milk up to you're eybrows

Pasteurize (past your eyes)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes you think of a pun so good, you lactose the self-control to resist drawing it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CluKInCok
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My little sister was reading the milk carton at breakfast.

"Dad, what does pasteurised mean?"
Dad picks up milk carton.
"Well this is milk,"
He slowly moves the carton past my sisters face.
"...and now it's past-your-eyes-'d milk"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KankleGrinder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
🚨︎ report
How do you know when you're drowning in milk?

When its pasteurize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call milk that's too far away to see?

Pasteurize

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaNinjaSmurf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I work at Subway

Yesterday a lady was wondering what type of cheese she should put on her sub so I recommended the Swiss cheese because, as I put it, "The Swiss cheese is always really neutral".

The worst part is she didn't even laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Admiral_Sarcasm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
So I wanted to take a milk bath yesterday.

When I got into the tub, I asked my gf to pour milk into the tub with me. She questioned, "pasteurized?" No honey, just to my waist please.

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πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Lady wants to take a milk bath...

Lady left the Milk Man a note on her empty milk bottles, asking him to come see her before he left.

Milk Man comes by, reads the note, goes up to the lady’s house, knocks on the lady’s door and says, β€œyou wanted to see me?”

Lady says, β€œyes, I read that taking milk baths is good for your skin, so I’d like for you to bring me enough milk to fill my bathtub, can you do that?”,

Milk Man says, β€œI sure can, would you like that milk pasteurized?”

Lady says, β€œno, just up to my nipples would be good”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitch_igan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you noticed milk trucks are going faster these days?

One blink and they are pasteurize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reidy91
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the son of the rich owner of a cheese company called?

The Dairy Heir

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πŸ‘€︎ u/koolaidman0423
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you do with expired milk?

You put it out to Pasteur.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/laurelcook
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the fastest liquid in the world?

Milk, it’s pasteurized before you can even see it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TongueBandit69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

It's pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk. Its pasteurized before you can see it

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flameboy42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is milk so fast.

Because its pasteurized before you see it.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillRespectively1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk! It’s pasteurized before you even see it!

πŸ‘︎ 998
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is milk the fastest thing ever?

Because it’s pasteurized before you see it.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LetsdothisEpic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you baptise a cow?

Pasteurized milk

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohitszie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the fastest liquid?

Milk- it’s pasteurized before you see it

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaidendeck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Milk is the fastest dairy product.

It’s pasteurized before you ever see it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boyleolio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the fastest liquid on earth???

Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drake_Pancake
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

It’s pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

It’s pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Milk is the fastest thing on Earth.

It's pasteurized before you know it.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuckeyeBikeNHike
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

It’s pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Milk is the fastest liquid on earth

It's pasteurized before you even see it!

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datboifritz113
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is milk the fastest?

Because it's pasteurized before you ever see it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleepythe12th
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the fastest liquid in the world?

Milk

It's pasteurized before you see it!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk....because its pasteurized before you see it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathblade66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Today, I found out that milk is the fastest liquid

It's pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beerpizzamusic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What liquid is considered the fastest in the world?

Milk, because it can be pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eleventhearlofmar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report

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