Passover Puns

Conversation between bf and his cousin:

Bf: So, what's new with you?

Cousin: I wish I had something cool to say to that, like, I built an aircraft with my bear hands! I never have anything cool like that...

Bf: Understandable! How could you have built an aircraft without opposable thumbs?

Moment of silence. Moment of laughter. Queue interesting conversation.

I was at my mom's helping her get her house together for Passover, which includes getting rid of bread-like foods.

Mom: Oh shoot, I forgot there's naan bread in the freezer.

Me: That's okay, it's non bread.

Mom: sigh Good one.

I impress myself sometimes.

What do you get when you cross a midget with a prostitute?

• A lil fucker about this high

GF: I really like juice.

Me: Well that's good, you're dating one!

^^^juice ^^^--> ^^^Jews

I stepped out of the shower and my girlfriend was watching The Prince of Egypt, an animated movie about Moses. A musical number is about to begin and she tells me, "Good, you're about to see the best part! Moses found out he's Jewish and he's in denial."

"Why'd he get back in the Nile?" I said. She gave me a confused look followed by a disappointed sigh. Her underlying hatred of me grows with every dad joke. Had to share it with you guys.

And that's a deal you can't passover!

My girlfriends mom: "That storm cloud is really making me nervous!"

Girlfriends brother: "Oh, I'm pretty sure it's going to pass over."

Me: "Passover? It's Easter!"

Good to see they didn't passover the opportunity.